Unsure

Writing

I do not have a specific goal in mind, or maybe I do. It is late and i am sitting in this bed typing words. These words that have no meaning. Maybe someone will read this, but maybe no one will. Should that matter? Am i supposed to be trying to please people? I have tried that before. I think we all have. I used to crave fame. I wanted people to know me, to remember me. I didn't want to be forgotten.

Now those things do not matter. I will write what i please and i will not care what others think, but why is it so hard? Why is it so hard to not give a damn about what others think? People's opinions of us cloud our minds. We think too long about what people think about us. We  should be free to be ourselves. We of that fear that someone won't like what we wear, or in this case write. 

I will not be a slave to my fears. I will not fear people's opinions of my work and myself. We are allowed to have our own opinion on things, but I will not let people's opinions about myself affect me. 

It is 4 AM and I am writing. My head is cloudy and I should be asleep. I should be asleep, yet i keep typing. Maybe it's away to relieve my emotions. I guess that would make this a healthy activity, but it is still 4 AM. I should be seeping, but i am thinking. My mind is buzzing.

I read my past stories, today. Maybe this one will show how far I've come, or maybe it'll just be another story for me to read in the future and cringe at.