the kids aren't alright. / golden child

19 ✕ old smiles

"is now a good time? can we meet now?"

bomin's voice was shaky, like he had been swallowing tears.

joochan smiled. "i'm at the noodle restaurant near your place."

"perfect! give me a minute, see you there!"

it felt as though the moment joochan put down the phone, bomin arrived.

"did you watch the news?" he couldn't ignore the sparkle in bomin's eyes as he said it. so full of hope. "he got another trial. my father got another trial."

i know. joochan smiled, as he watched tears form around the corners of bomin's eyes. he must had held everything in, far too much for far too long.

joochan reached his hand up to pat bomin's head. his hair was damp, he probably ran.

"stay strong," he found himself telling him, not sure whether to bomin or himself. "he'll be free. i promise."

bomin looked up, eyes like glass, "you promise-e?"

"i..." joochan wasn't sure what he had done, but it was too late to take back his words, "i promise."

"thank you." bomin sniffed, managed a little smile. "for being with me all this time."

joochan shrugged, but unable to meet his smile with his own. "i - well, it was the least i could do."

"have you eaten? you hungry?" he bit his lip. "should we get something?"

bomin nodded. the smile on his face hadn't faded. joochan found himself laughing at how wide it was, patted his head again.

"i'm happy for you."

they shared a long moment of silence, before joochan spoke again.

"thanks for...uh, not losing hope on me. on any of us." he looked down. "i don't say it but i appreciate it."

"i was just returning the favor," bomin said, letting out a laugh. soon, joochan found his smile again.

"there's still a long way to me being saved, though." joochan held his smile.

he missed it, both of them, probably. missed how they used to be able to laugh for no reason at all.

"but im trying," he admitted.

but what he didn't admit, that the only reason he saved bomin, was so he could save himself from all the guilt.

—

i have the ending written but i cant bring myself to post it idw this to end