pure [zayn malik]

RUSH.

zayn

i've never met someone who could make even the purest of things shift into gutter thoughts and actions. the way our touch collided together i knew it would bring nothing but danger and damage to the way our lives functioned. her soft coffee skin with the glow of honey, and deep set topaz eyes that hide her sinister intentions always invades my mental. she was the devil in disguised, my own personal devil whom would be the death of me.

ruby

the reaction to a gentle connection of his finger tips to any part of me creates an electric spark that bolts through my entire body.
and I'm determined to have more.

RUSH

RUBY
you know that moment in the movies when the two characters see each other for the first time and their eyes glisten with this beam. a light of some sort that brings the two closer together.

that's how it feels every time I seen him, the man who took everything from me and despite him having done what he's done I still can't help but love him and who he is.

"oh ruby my baby, my dear baby." she cried softly, caressing the side of my bruised brown skin. tracing it slightly leaving scratches along my cheek with each movement she made along my cheek with her long press nails. she sat at the top of the bed where my head laid holding my coarse curls in her lap.

"look what he's done to you-" she paused crying harder, her voice was raspy and brittle but she croaked more and more each time she tried to get a word out. her words so strained you could feel the vibrations of her choking on each word.

the smell of all the alcohol she consumed lingered like a shallow wind, and hit me each time she spoke. she wasn't well.

"he's taken you from me, you aren't even my babygirl anymore. my sweet innocent ruby." she continued rambling. i laid still, not moving not daring to even peak out the corner of my puffy eyes. of course he's taking me, he's made me his.

the women i've become is reckless. i let my unholiest thoughts consume me into a never ending black hole of darkness. the drugs and booze bring a euphoric rush that fill my veins as i let the white substances fill my nose and dark liquids spread through my system. yet, one thing i loved more than the rush from drugs and parties was money and the thought of everything it brings. i allow it to devour and allure my brain no matter the cost.

however, the only thing i feared more than the women i've become and my lust for luxury is the man who made me this way. i can't leave him alone, no matter what damage he causes and what he's done. he is the high i always chase, the feeling that i had always been missing. he was my strange addiction, he was my rush of life and the spark i've longed for. i can't let go because, a world without him is much more dark and much more scary.

i slowly let the thought of him cloud my brain.
"you need to stay away from him honey- stay away from leo." she cried harder but her words became
jumbled as my vision became dark and i heard nothing but silence.

⁂

"more life!" we screamed, clanking our cheap glasses filled with overpriced champagne and taking sips as the clock turned to twelve.

"happy birthday ruthie baby!" LJ screamed in my ear, scooting me closer into his arms and wrapping me tight in his embrace. i could smell the bud from the inside his jacket pocket as he held tighter.

"so glad to see y'all and have you guys here." i spoke over the hums of kid cudi in the background.

I turned around facing everyone and look at the some of the same faces i've seen my entire life. for them I would be nothing, no matter what we always managed to stick together.

me and mag's moved out of our small town and everyone else followed slowly and one by one. all except zayn who stayed cooped up in this tiny town all his life and didn't even bother to show up tonight, i haven't even thought of mentioning what happened that night to anyone.

and as I stood here with lively music playing in the background. people dancing and drugs being passed around from every which direction my mind could only think of him. not leo but zayn, he's all i wanted in this exact moment.

"stop thinking so hard." I heard a soft voice whisper in my ear, "you've lived to see another year baby, go celebrate." a voice oh so smooth and quick. the words fell off his tongue dangerously, almost dragging me back in as always.

"leo how did you even- who even invited you?" i questioned turning my head just enough that I could peek at his icy forrest eyes that were desperately trying to find a way to make contact with mine. i didn't want to see the smirk that he's wearing and the lifeless eyes that somehow are stunning enough to snatch me back every time.

i just wanted to be.

"why wont you leave me alone? did you not realize you weren't wanted when you didn't receive an invite?" i questioned even more. bringing the cold glass to my pursed lips that were coated in a soft nude lip gloss sipping the champagne and taking in the tart taste that subside allowing sweetness to take over my mouth.

"why won't you even look at me." he stated, deeply. I could feel the anger rising in his body as he spoke, placing his soft palm on my face and slowly turning my head to look at him. for someone who does a lot of dirty work with his hands, he always managed to keep them unblemished.

"don't-." i spoke simply. his sharp eyes bore into mine moving everywhere trying to read me without even speaking to me. i felt like he was looking into my soul, he looked soft today. he looked pinched and paler than usual. he looked almost sick and leo never gets sick.

"i- i miss you." he stated. letting go of my face and putting his hands back to his side like it never happened. a cold wind hit my cheek, and now all I wanted him to do was to put his hand back.

i shrugged, "what do you want me to say leo. i miss my life, with you not in it. yet, no matter what. i can't live without you." i paused. trying to find the courage to look away from him, letting a hard sigh escape my lips. "you left me to die. you left me to rot, you let me do it again and yet here i am. wanting nothing more to leave this function and be with you- leave my own function at that."

i chuckled to myself bringing the glass back to my lips taking a swift gulp and finishing the rest. "you." i paused poking my beautifully manicured finger into his temple, "hurt." pushing it a little deeper "m-" before I could finish the two letter word, my hand was grabbed and I was pulled tightly into his warm embrace. his lanky arms wrapped around my curves and sat a little below the waist.

i felt his head dip down to my ear "i didn't let you do anything you didn't want to do baby." and just like that i could feel his soul warm up and a smile grow on his face from ear to ear like the cashmere cat and just like that. i was back, i no longer wanted to be. there was no zayn, there was no one else, just me and him.

"hi baby, welcome back." he whispered.

———

a/n: hmmmm.