So my amazing people, I've been inactive on here with my stories for a good while yeah?
Well now seems the time where writing and art is all I have to let out my feelings now.
Why? Why not talk to people?
Because they suddenly don't know what to say because what is there to say. What is there to say when no one knows anything about it. When we're all scared because where is God. Life oh life. It's been horrid. Y'all, I'm terrified. Terrified of this all. Scared of what this means for me. I just don't know. Mom asks how I feel, how I'm doing, how I'm coping. I say I'm fine because that's what she needs to hear. She needs reassurance just as much as I do. This. This syndrome. It isn't fixable ever. You can't fix a brain. It's permanent. I could deal with hemifacial microsomia or whatever it is. I could handle growing up explaining that to others but this? No. I've been misdiagnosed my entire life because it's so rare. It's constantly having migraines that stop you from going to school or functioning because the pain is so unbelievably awful you're on pain meds as soon as you can take them because you just want the pain to end. To be normal again. Hush, I know normal is a broad term to use or overrated. I get it I should be okay with myself. I was. I honestly was in a good spot in life, but one day it changed. Life had different plans from that point on for me. So the doctor visit happened then the er to where we got answers and even more questions needing answers. The er led to a follow up with my doctor who set up appointments for several specialists. Do you know how terrifying it is to be told you'll be seeing a neurologist and a Neuro surgeon? Super terrifying. Because that means my brain is the center of this issue. My brain. Something is wrong in my head. If that doesn't scare you congrats you're tougher than me. Wattpad is my safe haven where I have met amazing people. Where I got help from an amazing person who I totally need to email lol (years later and still suck at sending messages to friends lol). But yeah guys. You'll probably see more rants as this progresses because I need to release my feelings. I have to let it out somehow and I rather it be in writing. Where people can see reality for some. Goodnight y'all. Remember every one of you is amazing and important no matter what people say.
