stray // calum hood

two: blythe

Its been six months.

Yeah?

Six months of you in my head. Six months without her. Six months of depression.

No, six months of you feeling sorry for yourself and youre not depressed, youre just really really sad.

Not necessarily.

Yes necessarily. How long were you even together? A month? 

Three, Ive told you before.

Its pathetic. You sit in your room all day, sitting in your own filth might I add. When was your last shower?

Umm, maybe five days ago.

Stop being a lazy shit, get up, take a shower, and rethink how youre acting.

Okay mum.

Dont joke Calum. Im you too, Im just trying to help us out.

I stand and shove out the voices in my head. Walking down the long hallway of my flat seems like its taking forever and I eventually get dizzy and run into the door to the bathroom, groaning at the sting in my side I turn on the shower and start getting undressed.

I stand in the mirror, dark circles under my eyes, hair crazily pushed all over the place and I dont recognize myself. It seems as though Ive lost weight. When was the last time I ate?

Yesterday afternoon.

Right right, now I remember. I had a bowl of cereal. 

I wipe the eyeboogers from the corners of my eyes and lick my chapped lips before stepping into the steaming shower. The water sends chills through my body as soon as it touches me. I stand for awhile, thinking, contemplating. I think about Leigha. I wonder what shes doing right now. Probably, at a coffee shop, or listening to music. 

Or fucking that guy she cheated on you with.

The words from inside me make my eyes water. Its probably true, Leigha did always know her way to satisfy a man in bed. Kind of a whore, honestly. 

Now my hair is soaking and the thick air from the hot shower is beginning to get hard to breath and I figure I should start actually washing myself.

The shampoo glides onto my hair and I look at my relection in the shower head. My eyes are red, for a reason I dont know and my hair which is usually pushed slightly back is coming over my forehead, water dripping down from it. The white foam starts running down my face and I rinse it out before I get any in my eyes. I quickly scrub my body and step out, afraid if I stay any longer I will over heat. 

I walk naked around my home, I dont car. My house, my rules. I live alone now that Leigha moved out. I know, I know, we were only dating three months, why were we living non the less sleeping together? Well, theres this thing called love, and I thought I was in it. Unfortinutely, it wasnt the same for her.

I stand in the kitchen now and make a pot of coffee. Leigha would always make me coffee as soon as I would wake up. Her brown hair coming over her shoulder and blue eyes watching as I sleepily walk in. I was always taller than her and could set my chin on her head while we stood waiting for the coffee to finish. She would then smile a big, bright smile and kiss my nose and hand me my coffee. Sad thing is, shes gone now and no one kisses my nose anymore. Except for mum who I havent seen in awhile.

Beep Beep goes the coffee machine.

The coffee  hit my tounge with a hot sensation. 

Ouch

Maybe you should have blown on it, dumbass.

Thanks for the self confidence.