I didn't think it would be so absolute freezing cold at night. My breaths came out in frozen fogs, obscuring my vision. I grappled at the folds of my clothes wanting the preserve all feeling in my arm. Minuscule bits of frozen icicles clung on to my hair for their dear life as I trudged forward. Sensing that I was struggling to keep up, Ignifex cupped my hands in his and gently tugged me forward. I couldn't help but be just so conscious of him as he led the way, I had long ago come to terms with the fact my flaming face would betray all my emotions.
We reached the tiny inn, parked in the middle of nowhere. As I stood at the doorway, basking in the heat radiated from the heater. Ignifex was staring at the limp money bag while muttering to the old man.Shaking his head vigorously, his voice was an octave higher than usual. He had always been confident and at ease, I knew that we had to plot our finances well and it was unsettling to see Ignifex flustered. It meant something was wrong. I heard snatches of their conversation. Things like "two rooms Robbing me blind and ludicrous" I stole up behind them and cleared my throat. "Actually, we don't mind sharing a room." Ignifex was looking at me as though Greek words were pouring out of my mouth. "Listen to the girl young man, that is the only way you can afford to stay." The old man gave a sniff and tossed a key to me.
"I have many queries regarding the propriety of this decision." Ignifex mutters." People will talk, tongues will wag." He says as he stares at me pointedly. " Yes, eyebrows go up when they here of different genders bunking together."I fiddle with the ends of my hair."But it was the only way! Either that or freeze!" I cry out defensively. He glowers at me and a split second later, his expression softens. "People will talk. Too much for their own good may I add." His argument is void and he acknowledges it. Nodding towards the bed he says" Make yourself comfortable there, I'll be on the floor." He starts unravelling a frayed faded mat. "No." I jump of the bed forcefully, my voice adamant. I know he has been carrying about the things we were able to salvage and I know that he is exhausted, more so than me. Ignifex makes his way to the bed and says " Just for today, tomorrow we'll switch places." If history is of any indication, there is no use persuading me out of my decisions. As the candle is blow out, I settle on the mat. Seeing even the outline of him tames the squirming of fear in my belly.
I marvel at the darkness's uncanny ability of loosening one's tongue as Ignifex pipes up "I'm sorry."
Misconstruing the words I reply,"Sleeping on the floor is fine. I'm fine. Still in one piece, right?" "Not that, I mean, when you were Lucinda's torture toy, the times when she scalded you, when she tried to break you..."he breaks off as I digest his words. "You did enough." The words feel like ashes in my mouth. He knows me too well and must know that my words are all a show. My voice is lifeless and modulated. It's true after all. He didn't protect me enough, he couldn't protect me enough. Lucinda had all the cards. But then again I might not be the person I am now, the character I have been molded to, if not for her beatings and rage. She had robbed my childhood and forced us, both of us to grow up faster than we had to, the stage of being a child to an adult. I want to tell him that. But all that pops out of my mouth is "I wasn't born to be saved."
