Don't Be Mad, Jean (Jean/Eren)

Chapter 2: In Sickness and Nothing Else

After everything, I fell asleep heated and disgusted on the couch and woke up only an hour later. Not even moving an inch, I felt so tired and drained. I didn't always get sick. Maybe once or twice in a year, but there was always the same catch each time around. Whenever I got sick, IT WAS HELL. I'd be the most miserable all week long whenever I was sick and I'd feel like I was close to dying. Once, I was so sick that I got delusional. Yes, I remember it all. 

I was asleep yet I could hear someone calling my name. "Eren- Eren- Eren, wake up!" the voice would say. It sounded so worried, so anxious... As if I was really on the death bed. I'd open my eyes, yet wouldn't. My eyes were open in a sense that I could see Armin pounding on the window outside. Was the door locked? Maybe Mikasa'd get it later, I'd think to myself. Either way, Armin would continue to call out my name, pounding on the window. "Eren! Eren- Eren, just wake up! What is the worth of your existence if you don't wake up and live?" 

My eyes widened, but at the same time, they didn't. What did he mean? What was he saying? Am I really dying? "What are you saying? What are you even telling me?" I called back to Armin. Yet no matter how long I questioned him, he continued to scream at me and tell me to wake up. "What do you want from me?!" I yelled. I got up from the heated couch and it felt like I was in the ring of the Fires of Hell. Intense heat turned into flames and my heart started beating faster and faster. "Eren- Eren- Eren, wake up! Wake up, wake up, wake u-"

Then my eyes really did open. I was sweating like crazy, my breathing hard, feeling like I had just smoked off steam for the past 5 hours. I had tilted my head to see Armin taken a back from my sudden awakening and Mikasa about to dab my head with a cold, wet towelette. It took me a while to catch my breath...I felt like I had just been sent to the hospital yet here I was, safe at home. Maybe safe.

It was the worst experience so far but maybe this week would be even worse. Showing Jean my vulnerable side is bad as it is, but if I start to get delusional around him, he'll probably laugh and you might as well kill me. You see, I've known Jean for such a period of time that I know he'll make fun of me in any way he can. He'll take footage, voice recordings, whatever you can think of, and show it to his friends (if he had any) so he can make fun of me. Yes, he is that type of person, and that is the only type of person I have ever known for all the years I have been with him. 

I am so sick and tired of his attitude and what he thinks to be 'funny'. And of all the people in my class, I had to be partnered with him. 

- - - 

The next day I stayed on my laptop all morning as Mikasa and Armin rushed to school. It was lonely...peaceful...quiet...and all mine until they came back. I could've cha-cha'd with tons of strippers and Mikasa and Armin would never have known. But I wasn't up for anything really. I didn't want to move at all. I just wanted to stay still and just...lie there. I could've slept too, but whenever I sleep too much, I get dizzy. Sleeping is amazing but when I'm sick, I'm just not up for it at all. I'm never up for anything when I'm sick.

I just wasted time on the internet, not even caring that I still had homework to catch up on. It was such a slow and wasted day that I felt like I could just die and everything'd be the same as it was. But obviously not as I had to work out project plans with Jean.

Jean. Jean. Jean. 

Such an awkward way to spell a name that was basically 'John'. Though, Jean always said that his name was not simply said as 'John' but as 'Jan' with some kind of French twist to it. Though, he couldn't always explain how this French twist affected the way his name was said. Seemed kind of stupid at first to be honest. But now I see the difference...weird. 

I remember when I was young, new people or visitors would call him "Jean" with that "een" instead of "an" part. It'd always piss Jean off. He'd get all offended and just rant about it for an hour to Marco or Connie. But now the problems were always revolving on how "They say John instead of Jan with the French twist!" and shit like that. I'll stare at him from afar as he rants his ass off and wonder What the hell is this kid's fucking problem? but obviously keep these thoughts to myself. Mikasa would probably tell me how it's none of my business or that I'm the one making a big deal about it...While Armin would slightly agree with Mikasa but me as well, giving that "I mean, yeah, it's none of our business...but it's kind of odd on how he gets so offended by the way people say his name. Well, anyways...." as usual.