What Are The Odds?

Chapter 04/ Looking Back - J

"So let me get this straight."

Alexander's eyes stray momentarily from the road to catch my attention.

"Your parents called a family dinner which they hadn't done in months."

"Yup."

"They then preceded to tell you that they had good news."

"Yes again."

"And that good news was that you need to get married to some chick to consolidate your father's business empire?"

"Yeah, that about sums it up."

I could feel the repulsion in his tone as he said "That's absolutely messed up."

To be honest, it really was. Not only have my parents decided that they have the authority to make life altering decisions on my behalf, they have acted on it.

"What are you going to do?" I say in a tone far more cavalier than I thought to be possible given the state of things. 

"You've let them boss you around your whole life. Why the hell don't you just stand up to them?

"It's just not that simple."

"It sounds pretty darn simple to me." Though not intended, I could feel the sting of patronization radiating from his words.

Don't get me wrong, I love Alexander like a brother, I really do, but he hasn't had to live in the spotlight like I have. His family does have some money. We go to the same school, we hang around in most of the same social circles, and so on. But he doesn't truly know what it's like to be a part of a brand rather than a family. How your actions don't just represent yourself. How going against your family's wishes can sharply change your future. He just doesn't understand, not that I would expect him to. I often find myself wishing he would try to be more sympathetic, but then I remember: people like me are not worthy of the sympathy of others. My 'problems' aren't real; after all, some people have it worse.

Regardless, I did not have the energy or desire to talk about this any longer.

"Can we please just drop it?"

With a casual shrug, he says "Sure, let's talk about something else."

This is one of the reasons that I value Alexander as a friend. He is the kind of person that you know will always be there if you need him, but at the same token, he knows when to step back and not push me on things I clearly don't want to talk about, even when he was the person to bring them up in the first place. Our friendship is built on a balance of respect and trust. We respect each other enough to not pry, and trust each other enough to know if and when we need to open up, we will always be there. To be honest, I think that is the best kind of friendship.

Without breaking his gaze from the road in front of us, he asks "why don't we go try out that coffee place my dad just bought?"

"What's it called again?" 

"It's called Jimmy's Java. It's up here on 5th Street."

"Sure why not."

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After ordering, we found seats at an out of the way two-top. Surveying the place, I found it to be just as I expected from a cafe on this side of town: a bunch of entitled trust-fund babies discussing something stupid and trivial in their pompous and pretentious designer clothes. Sometimes it sickens me to realize that I am among their social status. 

"Okay, I have one latte and one black coffee," the waitress reports.

"Thank you."

"If you need anything else, my name is Delaney."

"Great, thanks."

I wasn't even able to enjoy my coffee for thirty seconds before a familiar voice penetrates my peace and quiet.

"Jackson is that you?"

I could tell who that voice belonged to even before I turned around. Katrina Lewis. I wish I could say we ended things on good terms, but when you catch your girlfriend in bed with some random dude on your six month anniversary, the reality of ending things in a positive way goes right out the window.

Gathering his things, Alexander says "Oh, I am out of here."

As though she was invited to come sit with me, she struts over, her Jimmy Choos click-clacking the whole way.

Blowing a kiss, she says "Hey, Jackson."

"What do you want, Katrina?"

"Can't a girl just want to have an innocent conversation with her ex-boyfriend?"

"Some girls can, but not you."

Either she was not picking up on my icy tone or she was simply choosing to ignore it. Both scenarios were equally frustrating.

"I'm hurt Jackson."

"Enough with the theatrics, Katrina. Why the hell did you come over here?"

"Well, my father is hosting a charity dinner next Friday, and I was wondering --"

"Absolutely not."

"You didn't even let me finish."

"I don't have to. You were going to ask me to come with you and the answer is no."

"Why do you have to be such a jerk Jackson?"

 "You don't get to cheat on someone and then get angry at them for not wanting you in your life! It doesn't work that way Katrina."

"Come on, that was five months ago. We were great together. Can't we just move past it?"

"The day you cheated on me was the day that you destroyed our future. You don't get to try to put my heart back together when you were the one that shattered it in the first place."

Without even a moment of reflective thought about what I just said, she says "Now who's being theatrical?"

Even when we were dating, I always hated her fundamental disregard for the feelings of others. She's just like my parents; she lives in her own little world where she is the only one that matters. Sometimes I get angry with myself for not seeing it sooner.

"Leave me alone, Katrina. I've made it perfectly clear that I am not interested in having you in my life and I wish you'd understand that."

"Oh, just give it up Jackson. You and I both know that this won't be the last time you see me. As much as you try to fight it, we're meant for each other."

Blowing another kiss she says "See you later, babe."

I wish I could say that I've always known this side of her. That I could always see past her fake eyelashes and fancy clothes. I was naive and fell for a girl who was everything I should have wanted on paper. But in some ways, I am actually grateful for Katrina. If it wasn't for her, I would have never learned how important it is to look beyond the surface. If she hadn't broken my heart, I never would have known to stay away from people like her. It was a hard lesson to learn, but nevertheless, an important one.

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