Words

Me, too.

[A/N] The internet is a platform for sharing thoughts and stories and feelings and words that bounce around in your head. I'm planning on posting mine. I want to hear yours too. Just be respectful. People should have an intelligent discourse when they have differing opinions, not turn a work into a raging shit show.

Don't be racist, homophobic, sexist, personal. If you're confused, or have an opinion that isn't the norm, don't be afraid to share it, but don't hurt others with your words either. Don't forget there is a person on the other side of the screen.

You can use my words. Just say where you got them.

The following is my response to the #me too campaign on social media right now, as of 10/17/2017. For those of you who do not know, it was to raise awareness of the prevalence of sexual harassment and assault in the world. All people, women and men, are affected. No one is left without a scar. As such:

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Mentions of sexual harassment and assault

TOO LAZY, DIDN'T READ:

-Don't be an asshole

-Cite my words if you use them

-The following is a response to the #me too campaign 

-TRIGGER WARNINGS: Mentions of sexual harassment and assault

___________________________

Me, too.

2 words

Somehow almost as difficult as the one:

No.

I've spent all day thinking about them.

But I don't want my name attached to them.

I don't want the questions from my family.

When? Who?

Too young.

Someone you all knew.

As if you'll ever be old enough,

That it won't tear you inside out.

As if your first thought wouldn't be

Him?

No, it couldn't be.

He's such a sweet guy.

Maybe to everyone else.

Not to me.

I don't want to wonder if he'll see the words.

(Because we're still Facebook friends;

Because it would be weird if I unfriended him,

Wouldn't it?)

Me, too.

I don't want to ask myself if he'll just laugh if he see the words.

Because he did then,

When his mom found out

And made him apologize

For touching me

And made me apologize too.

Why?

Because I seduced him apparently.

I wanted to say no then too.

I wanted to tell her I didn't want her son,

Never did,

Never will.

But the words hurt me.

Bullshit you didn't know.

Bullshit you don't remember.

Do you ever think she tried to seduce you?

Yes.

So I apologized.

I was sorry I wore shorts.

I was sorry I wore lip gloss.

For a moment, I was pretty sorry I was born too.

Me, too.

I didn't want the words

Because I wasn't sure if I qualified for them.

Because shouldn't the words harassment and assault

Be saved for the truly horrible

The hell, the everyday nightmare

The survivor has to live with?

Or can it be used for the occasional breakdown too?

For hands that traveled to places they shouldn't have

But over clothes

For brief moments.

No words asking if it was okay,

But no words, no moves asking for more either.

So do I have the right to the words

Me, too?

Does it count?

I never wanted to look up the definitions.

I was afraid to see if I would find myself in them.

And I know friends

Family

Who've had a lot worse.

And live with it.

But the words have been in my head all day.

They've served their purpose.

I thought about harassment and assault.

But I didn't need the reminder.

He did.

Because if I didn't know if it counted,

He didn't either.

And that was the point of the campaign wasn't it?

Me, too.

Maybe the fact that I've thought about it

Is enough to answer my own questions.

Yes, maybe I can say it.

Me, too.

But do I want to?

No.

Will I?

No.

Not where it matters.

And so I feel like more of a coward today

Than I did then

The first day I didn't say no.