Deepika
What happened in the field today has shaken me to the core. Rana Mahendra Singh can go any length to get what he wants. He even can harm his daughter's husband. I thought I have escaped the darkness of Surya Mahal (Sun Palace) . But no, it follows me like a shadow. All I wanted was a life full of peace . Guess its not my fate to live a life free of my dark past. By body still can feel the pain of my father's leather belt. The darkness of dungeon still gives me nightmares . I was never wanted, he hated me right from the day of my birth. I tried all to get a share of his love , but failed miserably. What ever I did was wrong, whatever I touched was maligned. He would curse if I crossed his path. He had warned my mother once, if she wanted me alive I shouldn't step never cross his path. My mother agreed. But what hurt me , was she never retaliated. She never raised her voice against the wrong. She never stood up for me like she did for my brother. It hurt, I would watch all 3 of them enjoying sharing a laugh . But I was never included. In those stone walls there was just one who loved and cared for me . My granny, Queen Gayatri. I found my solace and peace with her. It was because of her that I got a chance to go to London. She had once told me to grab every opportunity that comes by and I did when I found Veer. I love him and he is the only one I can give my life for.
Today when he fell of the horse , my heart stopped. One of the player in opposite team was childhood friend, he agreed to let a substitute chosen by me to get in the field. I had received a clue from my old guard that Dad was planning to harm Veer. My marriage had hurt his ego and bruised his respect. Rathores were the enemy clan, we never could win over them and My dad hated them with every breath. I knew he wouldn't just let go the matter that easily. he would do something to show me who was the boss. The one who entered the field was loyal to my granny, he shadowed Veer. Just when he saw the red dot on his chest, he pushed him off the horse.
Trail of my thoughts broke hearing Veer's soft moan. I smiled watching his sleeping form. When we came back from the match, there was dead silence in the house. But he smiled, joked and did his best to lighten the mood of the family. My fingers moved through his curls, he hummed with a content smile. This man has brought me so much happiness. For few days I forgot where I came from. With him it feels as if my past never existed. I wish that was true, but it isn't . I have a past , a dark and scary past . It had walked back into my life to ruin it once again. Extending my arm I took the letter from Granny. This is the fifth time I am reading it. I never thought she would drag me into the hell again. She was happy that I was out. Then why she wants me back ?
Staring at the ceiling I tried to figure out the reason behind her decision. Did Dad force her ? May be, he can. He has an animal in him. For his gain he can go any length. The letter mentions her will and I have received the copy this morning. I am not interested, neither interested in the property nor in anything associated with Surya Mahal. Fear or worry. I don't know what to call it, but I couldn't sleep and left the bed . Standing on the porch I stared into the darkness, it seemed to mock me. How much ever I try to escape it, it finds me. ''Some times you have to engulf the darkness to end it. I know you can Deepa. Don't break my belief'' The lines from Granny's letter came back, what is she expecting out of me? One thing is sure, if I go back Dad will have me killed but if I don't he will kill Veer. Can I bear that ? No!!! not Veer. A strong wind hit my face hard, making me shut my lids. Wish I could shut and turn blind to everything around me. Pity, I can't . I have seen all that I shouldn't have. I have suffered what I never deserved and I know its coming for me again. Come what may, I will keep Veer safe. Even if it meant losing my life. After today's incident, Bhai won't sit quietly. I had seen questions in his eyes. They were directed to me. he knows something , which others in the family don't. At dinner I wasn't prepared to answer him. But now I am ready, this is my battle and I will keep this family out of it. Involving them might result in unnecessary blood shed. Ye, tomorrow I will go through the Will and decide what to do about it. I will do all to keep him safe. ''You should be punished for leaving me alone''
Veer whispered over my skin , with his arms around my waist. I just smiled; ''Was worried. Couldn't sleep'' He turned me around; ''WHy worry over things which are already over, think how to make things better in future'' This man is so simple, he is trying his level best to calm my nerves. Tears spilled my eyes making their way down my cheeks. He hugged me holding me close; ''I am fine Dipu. I promise that we always will stay together''
''Just promise that you will never hate me Veer.'' I don't know why I said that, but I am scared to lose that place in his heart.
Raghuveer
''Just promise that you will never hate me Veer.'' I couldn't understand, what made her say that. Why would I hate the one I am crazy about. Since we are back, she is seemed withdrawn. During the dinner, she sat frozen with a spoon in her hand. When mom questioned , she said she wasn't hungry. But I know her, she is worried. After today, her fears seemed to have gone to a peak. I know she is scared of Brijesh. Many times I have tried to console her that he can't.But she isn't convinced.
''I can never hate you'' cupping her face I spoke my heart looking into her eyes straight. For some reasons, her tears don't stop ''WHat if something breaks us Veer? What if I do something you don't agree with''
I wanted to probe, but there is no point because she won't answer. So for now I wanted her to calm down ''If something breaks us. I will come for you. If you do something I don't like. Then I wold question you. Punish you, but I will keep you with me.'' Taking her hands in mine, I rubbed my thumb over her knuckles ''Know this Dipu, good or bad. Right or wrong. In Anger or in love . You belong to me. I will keep you captive, even if I hate you'' She blinked processing my words, I pulled her close; ''There is a reason for it. You are my addiction love. Something I can't do without'' Leaning closer I placed my lips on hers, she shivered and I loved the response. Every time I touch her, its feels like the first time. wrapping my arms around her tightly, I lifted her up in air. Her palms pushed my shoulders; ''veer I can't breathe'' and I let her go, she took a deep breath rubbing her chest making me chuckle ''Why are you so worried''
''I...My granny is on death bed . I might have to visit her'' She answered in a stammering voice with her eyes on the floor. I know she hates going back to Surya Mahal, but now the situations different. ''I will come with you. We should go'' i answered, trying to calm her. Her eyes went wide and she stepped back; ''No Veer, I don't trust my father and my brother. promise me, you will not step into Surya Mahal. Promise me!!'' She looked scared, worried. When I lifted my arm to reach her, she stepped further away. She kept repeating the words, begging me to promise . Taking a step closer I pulled her back; ''I won't promise any such thing. if you don't want me to come, I won't. For now. But hear me out clearly, if I don't find you back with me in 10 days, I will crumble all the walls between us'' She stared at me with mixed emotions, I pulled her into a desperate hug. I know my grip right now might be painful for her, but what i said about she being my addiction is true in every sense. If I lose her, I will lose my self.
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Precap- Ranvijay; I know your trip has something to do with the attack on Veer. i won't even spare you, if I see Veer in a pain'' She sat there with a blank face and then lifted her hollow eyes to meet the the eyes of the man she respected as a brother; ''You did everything which was beneficial for Raksha, even when she hated you. I love Veer bhai, I will do all to keep him safe. Even if it meant he despising me''
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