"Jade!" My mom shouted as she called me.
I was about to go far from here, far from all these pain and heartaches, but there's something bugging and bothering me, my mind.. my heart.
"You might be late for your flight! Hurry up honey!"
I don't want to go. I don't want to leave the place where we used to go, where we used to meet and where we started our story. I don't want to forget all those memories.
"Honey, I know it's hard, but it's harder for me to see you like that. Forget him. He don't deserve you."
Yes he does, I answered in my mind. We deserve each other. He loved me. Loved.
"Honey, pick yourself up. Help yourself because I can't do it for you. I'll wait for you downstairs. Stop crying okay?"
I nodded my head but my tears were rolling fastly from my eyes down to my cheeks up to the pictures I'm looking at. Our prictures. We had a lot of memories together.
I can still remember how we met, he is a new student in our campus, tall, fair and handsome, the most handsome guy I've ever met. We bumped into each other and looked straightly in each other's eyes as we picked our things on the floor just like in the movies. It was surreal. It felt like a dream come true. We became friends, to bestest of friends until we jumped into having a relationship.
Every moment with him is magic. There is no dull day when I'm with him. He is my clown whenever I'm sad, my best friend when I need someone to lean on, my sister when I need some advices what to wear, my everything. He possesses all of the things I am looking for though I'm not looking for anything. I remembered the day when he met my mom, his mother-in-law as he said, he didn't felt any nervousness and pressure, his sincerity is just great. My family loved him and so do I.
My mom asked him "What do you love about Jade?"
"That's a hard question mam, because I love everything about her, not only was I enchanted by her beauty but it's her heart that made me fall for her every single day. I might not know everything about her, we might not now each other as you know one another but I am sure that what I feel about her is something comparable on the the love that you gave to her." He answered.
That's the moment where my tears fell, not because of sadness but because of pure joy and happiness. It's not everyday that someone like him comes my way. I loved him with all I have, with all I can.
We are such a power couple. Many are envious about us but to be honest, we don't have a perfect relationship. We argue and fight at times but love always win because no one wants each other to go to someone's arms. We had a 4-year relationship that went on smoothly until he met someone that made him forget me.
I thought I was enough, I thought I am still the one he wants to be with forever but yes, you all won, there's no such thing as forever. I used to believe in that word but now, I don't know.
He met her when we were still happy and to be fair, she doesn't know that we are together. He never told her. She does all the things that I cant do. He used to love music but I can't sing and she does. He loves someone who plays guitar but my fingers are too short for it but she plays it very well. She is someone she wants and now, she is the one he needs, not me, not anymore. She has all the things I can never have. She possessed all the things I wish I have. She has him now. And me? I'm left with all these memories. Memories that I need to let go.
I saw him happy with her. His laughs with her is different from the laughs he has when he's with me. His smile with her are the smile that I loved. So I set him free. Yes. It hurts. It hurts a lot. Seeing him happy with somebody else.
"You're free now." I said to him while smiling although it really hurts. He cried. I tried not to cry but I did. All I want is for him to be happy. I never thought of myself so now I am hurt so badly. I set him free cause I love him that much. Because I know that I am now fighting for nothing. There's no reason for me to fight cause he already gave up.
He tried to explain everything to me but I don't want to know how he lose his feelings for me, how he met her and how he is now happy with her. I don't want to hear anything from him. All I want is to see him smile again.
I have lot's of questions on my mind but I dont want him to answer a thing. He told me once that it's my heart that he loved the most but I never thought that he will be the one to break it, really hard.
I wanted to be mad at him but I can't. I'll never be mad at him for unloving me. It's not his fault that I can no longer make him happy the way she does. He gave everything to me. I'm his world.. before. I'm his life... before. I'm his... before. All was gone and I am already broken.
I didn't recognised the time, I'm too drowned from my tears and all these memories. I'm tired of crying but I can't stop. I really don't want to go. I dont want to forget every memory with him. I know it hurts but maybe someday I can get over it.
"Jade, honey, you really don't want to go,do you?"mom said at the back of the door.
I let her in and we cried. Mom knew how much I loved him.
"Jade, you're my most precious gem, all I wanted is for you to be happy, but seeing you hurting and crying is such a nightmare to me. If you don't want to go, then stay. But promise me one thing, that you'll get up with your head up high. It's not easy. Moving on is never easy but I know you can do it. Make all your memories with him a lesson, a memory to remember but promise me you're not gonna cry, just remember it so you won't miss it. Miss the memories, not him." Mom said, she is the best.
"Promise me, you'll never stop loving. Love is a great feeling. Your heart might be broken now but time will fix it." She said to me as she looked straight into my eyes. She gave me a kiss on the forehead and she left the room.
I looked around my room, I can see him everywhere. So I closed my eyes and lied on my bed. I took a deep breath. It feels great after a long cry.
Nobody said that loving someone and losing them is easy. I had him in a blink of an eye and I lost him with just another one. I'll pick myself up just like before I met him it'll be hard but holding onto something impossible is harder. I'm jade and now I'm moving forward to where I will become better.
