Just Friends

03

Beep. Beep. Beep

     I open my eyes groggily and think to myself; why the hell does my alarm clock sound weird? I go to reach my face in order to rub my eyes but I can't. I can't seem to move them at all. Its not like I can't feel anything; I can feel a sharp and piercing pain  jolt up my forearm and I yelp. I turn my head heavily in its direction, a needle? My eyes follow the directions of the tube and widen when  realizing where I am.

     I try to sit-up but my body turns against me and remains as it is. Laying on a stiff bed with a thing blanket draped halfway over my body. I can't believe. How did I get here? Why didn't they at least cover me up until my shoulders? Most importantly, what was the reason as to why I was brought here?

What happened to me?

     As the thought begins to settle in my mind a sound comes from the right side of the white room. Click! My gaze sets itself in the direction of the sound, hoping to see a familiar face. Unlike most things, I can feel my heart race.

    In that instant, a man walks in with a white coat and a bleeding pen in his pocket; he is followed by another behind him who is dressed in streetwear. But that's not all. The white tee he has on is covered and stained with dark red. His fringe covers tries to worry in his eyes, along with the wrinkle in between his forehead. When the man in the whit coat whom —I assume is the doctor— gasps, his attention is turned towards me. Our eyes meet and for a moment and my heart sinks.

     He runs toward me with desperation evident in his actions. For whatever reason, a tear slips from my right eye as he reaches to embrace me. All of my anxiety swells in my throat as I watch him sob into my arm and rest his hands on my face. Seeing him so completely and utterly vulnerable made me feel the urge to apologize.

    He was always there for me. He never left my side. But not once did I ever thank for him that. Not once did I ever ask him to listen because there was no need to since he just did. He cared more than anyone else when it came to how I felt about anything. He would stay up late to hear me out and or try to comfort me when I was upset even though that wasn't his strongpoint at all. He would send me a song to listen or make me feel comfortable when we were together. Yet, I never acknowledged that fact until now. 

I took him for granted.

     But whats worse is that I can't seem to bring myself to give him what he wants but tells others he needs. I am unable to help him when it comes to that. Neither am I in control or in the matter of fact capable to do so. Though, I'm telling you. I wish. I really wish I could give it to him. As he says its one of the few things that when he thinks about it it brings him happiness. 

But thats the problem.

Happiness isn't enough.

     What he needs —wait scratch that— what he deserves, is joy. For joy is everlasting, and that is what will give him eternal bliss. This is another of my incapabilities. However, I am capable of other things. I am capable of staying by his side, caring for him, being there when he needs someone. I can support him this way...

He deserves the world and I wish he knew that...

    After he finishes sobbing, he raises his head and his eyes rest on me; perhaps taking in the fact that-

I'm alive?

Wait...

Immediately panic surges through my body like a rush of blood and the feeling of wanting to explode bubbles in my chest as anxiety does in my stomach.

Was I-

* * * *

I sit up. Grasping my blanket tightly in a fist and beads of sweat roll down my face and back. My head feels as though it is swelling and I feel a sob working up my throat. I reach for my face. A tear tumbles down my right cheek...