Mentor Searching

Struggle of Life

From the distance, I heard my mother's voice straining through my cell phone's sickly speaker, "Man I can't beli-"

I threw my phone across the room and stared at the ceiling of my 1 bedroom studio apartment. 'How did I get in this situation? Maybe if I just didn't procrastinate back in my schooling days.' I thought to myself as I began to slip into the darkness of sleep.

I then awoke arms unfolding, looking up from this wooden desk. 'Hmm haven't sat in one of these in a couple years.' "James, I'm glad to see that you finally decided to join us in the real world rather than the dreamworld." Mrs. Morricone had "joked".

I laughed with the class even though I didn't know how I got back to this point in my life, possibly a second chance at fixing my life. Not end up a failed college student, who couldn't get a job. The rest of the day kind of just melted into the other as now I saw my English teacher lecturing about getting a mentor for our career project. I remember my original decision of procrastinating and not attempting to meet with my mentor.

But this time I would try to change the future and go through with finding my mentor. I had my mother call me out early from school, and I immediately showered, dressed up, and went over to my mentor's house. We had a quick chat, and offered coffee to talk more about what exactly I was asking from him. With our interaction at the coffee shop, I interviewed him with these questions that my English teacher had provided for our class. My mentor seemed quite interested in mentoring me and trying to improve my life, and in return I'd try to improve his life as his mentee. He had informed me that the next day/tomorrow would be a day that he would mentor me, so I had my mother call me in sick for school for the next day.

The next day I had woken up about 40 minutes before he said to arrive at his house, and quickly got ready for the day that was to follow. Once I arrived at his house, being about 10 minutes early, I invited myself onto his couch as he handed me a cup of coffee. We then headed to the school and continued throughout my mentorship. Throughout the day I learned an unquantifiable amount of personal insight on this career, something never to be found by just looking up on Google. His students seemed interested in his class, he actually caught the attention of the typical "troublemakers". Through him I inherited a type of confidence that could potentially assist me throughout life's struggles. And that aura of confidence rubbed off of him and onto me, allowing me to teach one of his classes, since I already knew that day's lesson plan verbatim.

With the successful day with my mentor, and even a later time planned to continue my mentoring, I did the opposite of the past 'or does it count as the present' and didn't struggle with the rest of the project. This even affected my entire English, as in I didn't procrastinate on the homework overall my grades had approved. I felt proud of myself, accomplished even that I could achieve such greatness. 'Seems hyperbolic, well if you're someone who usually just does the least amount or the efficient amount of effort; actually putting effort into an activity can be enlightening.' For once I didn't feel stressed about something, maybe it had to do with the confidence that my mentor had filled me with, maybe just the feeling of accomplishment. Or even the feeling of not disappointing someone for the umpteenth time.

'So did some unknown "creator" or supernatural being allow me to travel back in time and fix my mistakes? Honestly what/whomever allowed me to fix my mistakes, I thank you.' Cause what would you do if you were given a second chance, anyone in their right mind would fix their mistakes. This second chance at life really opened my eyes to the reality of little decisions that have a big impact on the future to come. Really the defining moment is when I was asked, "So how are you coming along with your Career project?"

And I could respond with, "I'm actually not stressing at all about it."

"Oh wow why is that? Since I'm like so stressed by this project, it's swamping me down."

"Because for once I got my work done, and didn't procrastinate till the last minute, like I would normally do for something with this level of urgency and importance."

"Well that's good for you I guess."

And even approval from my English teacher, someone I knew I would disappoint this year, since it always has to be the English teacher that I let down. But to hear them say, "Even though the overall class percentage for people who turned in this assignment is low, I'm proud that you got it turned in." Now this wasn't like in the middle of class, this was when they had pulled me apart from the bunch and said that they were surprised at my level of detail about my mentorship experience.

After this uplifting day I headed home and allowed the day to slip by, as I allowed the darkness of sleep to take over my body and put me in a deep slumber. I then woke up from my bed, but it wasn't the same one I went to sleep in last night. I then realized that I was in my apartment or an apartment. 'Wait... did like time reset? Or like was I sent to this updated future? Like is everything better now? Am I not a failure to my mother?' I stood myself up and looked at my body mirror on the floor, 'Still wearing the same clothes from the "original" timeline, but maybe I still bought the same types of clothes.' I then looked around the room, and had this uneasy feeling, I shifted my eyes down to the floor where I saw my phone back up on the ground. I picked it up and heard my mother's voice, "So as I was saying, I can't believe you dropped out of college."

I dropped the phone again and to my surprise I realize that nothing has changed, I looked at my bed and noticed a body sweat shape. It was a dream, the entire second chance was a dream, nothing was different. I'm still the disappoint my father always said I was going to be, I've let down everyone once before in my life, and now I let myself down. I settled with this reality and laid back down directly on the sweat stained sheet. I just stared blankly at the ceiling as tears began to swell into my eyes, I knew I wasn't ready for the lonely adult world, can't believe this all started from one simple decision that set my life course on the wrong track. As per usual my day drifted from one to another as I lay waste in my bed, what good would I be when staring at the ceiling was so fulfilling for me.