Jag
“I need you with Vi,” I said for the third time. The meeting had broken up, and I’d gone from room to room giving assignments. Zenn had followed me back here to my quarters, breathing reasons he couldn’t go to Freedom.
“You’ve been assigned to protect Vi,” I said again. “You should be happy about that.”
Zenn stood in front of me, his mouth a thin line of disapproval. I didn’t get his hating-me thing. It’s not my fault he defected, left Vi alone so she had to break rules to meet him, or that she got thrown into my prison cell.
I could’ve done without Zenn defecting. Everyone could have. But I’ve never been sorry for Vi’s rule-breaking or that I had to “endure” jail time with her.
“We have an appointment in Harvest,” Zenn said—for the third time.
“Stop trying to get out of going on this mission,” I said, fighting back my voice power. “You want to play the hero, just admit it. Right now, I need my hero in Freedom, to rescue Thane.” I stripped off my filthy shirt and replaced it with a less filthy one.
“This has nothing to do with heroics.”
“And,” I continued, almost yelling, “Everyone knows you’re in love with Vi, and I’m assigning you to protect her.”
His jaw tightened, his fists flexed. A bolt of satisfaction sang at the back of my throat. “It’s what we both want,” I said, stepping closer. He blocked the doorway of my bedroom, and I had forty thousand things to get ready for the mission.
“I can’t go back there,” Zenn said, his gaze dropping to the floor. The muscles worked in his neck. “You don’t know what Director Hightower’s like.”
“Trust me,” I said, “I do.” Zenn had no idea what my life was like. Where I’d been for those eight months while he and Vi fell in love all over again. No one did.
That’s how I liked it. Removing myself from everyone and everything helped me keep people out. That way I could do what needed to be done for the Resistance.
No emotional attachments. That’s why I didn’t try too hard to explain anything to Indy and then brought her brother Irvine with me on the mission into the Goodgrounds. She didn’t understand that sometimes, being the leader of the Resistance required me to make difficult decisions. It was better to be completely detached from everyone.
“Except for Vi.” Zenn didn’t have to say it, but he did. The pain in his voice was poorly masked. He hadn’t even tried. Sure, he was in my head, which annoyed me, but he was acknowledging something he’d rather ignore.
The fight went out of me. “Except for Vi,” I conceded. “I’d change things if I could, Zenn. So many things.”
I felt rather than heard or saw his defeated acceptance. An understanding passed between us.
“You might still make your appointment,” I said. “We’ll get Thane out, and you and Gunner can fly all night.”
“Fine. But you get to tell Vi she’s riding in the backseat on this one,” he said. “She’s gonna be mad as hell.”
“Fair enough.” I followed him into the hall, already dreading the argument I would have with Vi. “And Zenn, you are strong enough to resist this time.”
I found Vi in her room, her face already closed to any discussion. I smothered a sigh and sat next to her on the cot. We both studied the floor. “So, we’re going into Freedom.”
