Best/Worst Day of My Life

Day 1

“Well, looks like a slight sprain. Little swelling and a little bruising, nothing that can’t be cured. Ice and ibuprofen for you, and you should try and stay off of your foot for tonight as much as you can.” said the paramedic, gingerly looking over my sore ankle. I guess I was lucky I didn’t crack my damn head open. Fucking useless. I’m gonna kill the guy that forgot to use the glow in the dark tape...Who fucking does that? “If you sit tight for a second, I’ll wrap it for you.”

Sure, I’ll sit tight. The last thing I want is to move from this spot. Moving from this spot would require me to deal with the goddamn neurotic motherfucking people I thought were my friends and family, who don’t seem to be fucking satisfied by anything I’m trying to do for them and have literally kept me up all night and now I’m feeling like I can’t breathe again--keep it together, Axl--these shows are a big fucking deal and I’ve already gone and fucked up--

She starts wrapping the ACE bandage around my foot and I thank the God I question exists that it helps. The last thing I need is them fucking fussing over me and complaining. “Well, now you can’t do the shows I guess, can you Axl?” Not the band, not Alan, and NOT my “guests”. Guests my ass! I brought these people out here: Mike, Lynnie and Eric, my hometown friends, plus two of my cousins. I flew them all in, paid for first-class round-trip, their accommodations, backstage passes, best seats in the house, everything! I paid for everything! And what the fuck do I get? NOT A FUCKING THING…... from ANY of them! Not one of them thanked me! Here I am, breaking my fucking balls and paying for everything for them, and all they’ve done so far is bitch and complain! That’s all they’ve done, all damn day! “Well, the hotel you picked out had really uncomfortable beds.” “Where are you? We wanted to go to dinner with you, we haven’t seen you all day!” “God that flight sucked. Next time get us a direct flight.” “How come we didn’t get a penthouse room? I thought that’s what you said you were going to get?”

“Ok, you’re all done. Is that too tight for you?” Brought back to Earth with a bump, I just shook my head. The band, who were looking over her shoulder and holding their breath, all sighed in relief. Christ, it’s not like I broke it or anything. Calm the fuck down. Even they were fussing...Jesus...And my chest tightened again…

Finally, FINALLY, to be back in the AC of my hotel room. Even though I hadn’t fucking slept in 24 hours...maybe I could finally try to sleep. Provided everyone left me the hell alone for once. I popped a few Tylenol, since I didn’t feel like having someone else run out and get me ibuprofen, and laid back on my bed, propping up my foot on a spare pillow and putting a bag of ice on it. Then I look over and see that little blinking message light on the phone.

“Aww fuck….what now?” I groaned out loud, not caring who fucking heard me.Then I made that critical judgement error and decided to listen to the voice mails…..what a shitstorm THAT turned into...

“Yo, dude, what the fuck is up with you? All we wanted was to go to dinner with you, and then you told us you couldn’t! ‘Oh, I can’t eat this close to the show time, I’ll get sick.’ Sounds like bullshit to me! We haven’t fucking seen you in ten years! Was it too much to ask for just a little bit of your time, or are you too much of a rockstar for us now?”

And I played through them all. All fifteen of them. And they ALL sounded like that...and by the time I got to Lynnie’s, who was complaining about not having anyone to go to a bar with her and not wanting to drink with the band (even though they offered), I was done.

I laid back on my bed, foot aching. This would only happen to me. I tossed the TV remote away and just fucking groaned into the sheets. I had two more days of this nightmare... I just wanted to curl up, go to sleep and be left alone. For the next 3 days. Hell, forever sounds better. I closed my eyes, feeling a massive headache forming behind my eyes.