Chapter 1: Real or Not Real
So after, when he whispers, "You love me. Real or not real?"
I tell him, "Real."
Everything fades away into nothingness. I stand in darkness for a few moments. Then lights turn on. Bright, blinding lights. They disorient me for a moment. I have no idea where I am. I look at my surroundings. An empty room with blank, concrete walls. No windows, a single wooden door.
I know where I am now. The fear landscape room. In the Dauntless faction. With that revelation, everything comes crashing down on me. Everything I just witnessed. All of it. The Games, the rebellion. Everything. Everyone. Prim, Finnick, President Snow, even Gale and Peeta. It was all just in my fear landscape. Maybe not all of it. These names I recognize. They aren't made up. I actually know them, or at least know of them. But the rest of it, the games, the quell, the rebellion, me being the Mockingjay. It was just a simulation.
My breathing becomes quick and labored. My head begins to feel fuzzy. My hands shake violently. I squeeze my eyes shut and collapse to the ground. I curl up into a fetal position. This is all too much. I don't even know what to think of it. The Dauntless leader said I would have somewhere between 10 and 20 fears. How many did I have one huge fear or thousands of smaller ones? I don't know. I don't care.
I stay on the ground and concentrate on my breathing. I stay there until the door opens. I look up at the person who walks in. I recognize him. The dark haired, gray eyed boy from my fear landscape. He is more of a man really. His name is Gale Hawthorne. I think. At least, that is what it was in the simulation.
For some reason when I see him, anger runs through my veins. Which is weird, because I have never actually talked to him. But in the simulation, he killed Prim, my sister. So I have reason to hate him.
"Katniss?" he says softly. "My name is Gale Hawthorne. I work for Dauntless. I watched your simulation. Are you okay?"
I don't say anything. I just shake my head. I feel tears stream down my face. All of it was so real, so believable. I want to believe it, but I don't. Because I know I cannot.
Gale holds out his hand. "Come on," he says. "Lets get you out of here."
I look at his hand and debate whether or not to take it. I don't know what to do. I don't know this Gale. Not really. Except from what I saw in the simulation. Which I highly doubt is true. He is no coal miner, he isn't a hunter. And neither am I. He is a Dauntless leader. I am a confused, girl who has the unfortunate luck of being Divergent. I decide to take his hand. As soon as I touch him, I feel safe. Which is not something I expected.
He helps me up and leads me out of the fear landscape room. I avoid eye contact with the others. I recognize their faces and their names pop in my mind. They all starred in my simulation. Cato originally from Dauntless was the terrifying boy from District 2. A red haired, fox faced girl who was in the 74th games with me. And Annie who came here with me from Amity was in my simulation, even if she was older there. And many others.
I follow Gale into the hallway. It is empty, free of other Dauntless. He turns to face me. His face is kind. Different than what I saw in my simulation. There is was always angry and rebellious looking. Except in the early parts of the simulation, before I went to the games. When he was still a good friend and hunting partner. With all these memories from the simulation, I do not know what to think of him.
"Your fear landscape was very...." he pauses while he searches for the correct word. "Interesting." Is the word he decides to use.
"Interesting?" I ask.
