Emotional Intelligence

Sometimes I get embarrassed about my depression and anger because I can't control how or what I feel. I went to therapy for a year in my 7th-grade year, I hated having to go and having people ask me why I leave early every week. I wouldn't participate in any of the exercises they would show us. My anger missed my thoughts bad after 7th grade. I became more aggressive and violent. I became abusive with my sisters. I would throw knives at them. I started forming thoughts I never thought I would have. I became unhealthy with thoughts of hurting people for fun. Sometimes I couldn't control how I felt so I acted instead of thinking. That lasted all the way into 8th grade and then I became ashamed of myself for what I did. I started cutting myself out of pity for everything I did in 7th grade. Eventually, my anger broke down to depression. I stop talking about my emotions with people and eventually shut people out that cared about me. I kept cutting tell I felt numb inside. Now every time I look at my arms I see how much I could change how I thought and that I should have opened up to people who cared and not people that feel like they're supposed to care. I now know that we can hold back from our "dark" side by focusing on one day at a time. We worry about our past and future we forget to live in the present. Forget yesterday and don't think about tomorrow because it never happened. I had to learn to trust myself first before I trust others which wasn't easy but I eventually forgave myself for I did. I started to distract myself from my home issues and social issues by doing things I love that I never thought I would love before.