These Hands of Yours

I've been up in the air, out of my head,
Stuck in a moment of emotion I destroyed.
Is this the end I feel?
Up in the air, fucked up on life,
All of the laws I've broken, loves that I've sacrificed.
Is this the end, end, end, end?
- "Up in the Air" by 30 Seconds to Mars

Siberia had ended up breaking many things, but perhaps the most noticeable consequence out of everything was the lack of Tony Stark's trust.

It was true enough that he had fought with the Accords Council to bring the rogue Avengers back to the States, had smoothed things over so that his one-time teammates could petition their case before the U.N.—had even sent over the prototype B.A.R.F. program to Wakanda so that Bucky could finally settle within himself, safe in the knowledge that he would never again be triggered by a series of nonsense words spoken to him in Russian.

The nightmares and guilt still lingered, but the ex-HYDRA agent was almost grateful for the fact that he couldn't be rid of them.

But with the team back in the United States, everyone gathered together once more: it was then that the differences from before began to emerge. There was a cool distance between Steve and Tony, maintained with careful politeness and the engineer deliberately sidestepping any and all of the blond's attempts at reaching out to somehow heal the rift that lay between them. Steve still hoped, and Bucky watched with a jaded sort of knowing gaze, fully aware that there was no overcoming this breach.

His best friend had always tried to find the optimism in any sort of situation as long as he had his friends and family there to act as a sort of foundational cornerstone for him—one of the reasons why Steve had floundered so thoroughly while he was touring with the USO girls and then later on, when he had first awoken in this new century—but Bucky knew the look in Tony's eyes: a bridge had been burned and the dark-eyed inventor had no intention of rebuilding it.

So Tony kept his distance from Steve and the rest of the team, was carefully, meticulously polite with the others—even when Clint came 'round, fully intending on trying his best to rile up the shorter man; those were the times that had Bucky slowly tensing because, without fail, Tony watched Clint with a coldly assessing gaze, calculations running through his mind as consequences were weighed in a clinical sort of way, the archer's words always, always echoing within his mind each and every time Clint tried to spark a vitriol-spurred fight with the other: You better watch your back on this guy. Chances are he's going to break it. The expression in Tony's eyes was never a good one and perhaps Bucky should have encouraged Steve's teammate to back off, but... Clint also didn't have to continuously rub in the damage dealt to Rhodey from his fall and the consequences that came from it.

But the politeness and the distance combined together and paired themselves up with the lack of trust that Tony obviously had with the rest of the team. He had the perfect media smile for the cameras and crowds, playing up the public with the same effortless grace that Bucky could remember Howard having, as well: but behind closed doors, Tony's smiles dropped and he went quiet, arctic chill coming up to surround him and to keep anyone else from getting too close even as he retreated to cocoon himself up in his workshop, FRIDAY and locks and Hulk-proof doors standing firm as a series of barriers between Tony and most everyone else's attempts to reach out to him.

Perhaps the most dangerous aspect of that cool distance, however, came in the fact that Tony didn't trust any of the team out on the field, as well. It hadn't taken Bucky all that long to realize that particular fact, not with the sniper's view that his position afforded to him. True enough, Iron Man was a constant asset within battle, flying and fighting, though without the banter that had always been a staple from previous fights; Bucky had listened to the transcripts from other battles, needing to know with an obsessive sort of meticulousness the fighting styles of his teammates (friends? that one, he wasn't quite certain of)—and the contrast of Tony's silence from then and now was... jarring. Eerie. It was as if Iron Man had lost portions of its humanity, leaving nothing but an empty, metallic shell while the soul within had bled away.