It's Just Me

May 3, 2014

Due to some unfortunate circumstances, I will not be able to have my summer classes next Monday.

But instead, my cousin has made a proposal of joining yoga classes instead insisting that it is quite a healthy and promising activity.

I have made no objections and quickly agreed, hoping that this might actually make me a healthier being seeing that the weight I have gained isn't leaving soon.

So yoga it is.

And my current obsession over Fullmetal Alchemist is something that should be noted. I jave become overly entranced by the anime for some reason. I have no complaints except for the fact that it is one of the only things present on my mind every moment of every day.

Is it unhealthy to be addicted to non- fictional characters that one could never meet?

My whole family thinks so.

If I was deranged before, I'm more deranged now.

And now that  I have finished watching all the episodes, I have found myself confused and unable to think of anything to do whenever I have no one to converse with.

My mind has been utter chaotic for the past weeks and the summer heat is only adding to the constant headaches I experience throughout the days.

And to add to all of that, my temper has been flaring at quite inappropraite times causing my whole family to become more and more infruriated and frustrated with my temper.

Do all human beings pass through this frustrating stage?

My allergies have also been bothering me more often, striking me at moments when I least expect it and I have grown tired of being so cautious of what I eat, drink and even breathe.

It only adds more fuel to my already frustrated state.

I find comfort and peace talking with others who actually listen to me but when I am alome, I just feel so...for lack of better term.... mad.

At what? Who knows?

The last time I've been in this horrible state was when I was left home alone almost everyday for the summer a few years back. Or was that only a year ago?

So I find ways in making sure I make human contact with others and try to avoid being left alone for the loneliness brings me deeper into the more darker recesses of my already dark mind.

Maybe giving myself time to think  might help out but I should not be alone or these emotions might run wild and affect the people around me.

I have such a dark dark mind....