My Neighbor, My Knight

Part 1: Ending my life

I once had a dream of finally able to see my parents. It was surreal that I taught they we're embracing me truthfully. I cried and was almost out of control because of the realization that it was an awful untruth.

I couldn't forget how it looks real to me, nagawa ko pa silang tawagin kahit 'di na nila ako mariring. Napabalikwas ako mula sa aking higaan.

I walked through the glass door and slide it openly, as the wind and rain pushes me back inside.

Now my clothes are soaking wet as I was left there standing, in my bare feet. I was only wearing a thin long sleeves, and short shorts. I couldn't care more about how cold it is outside.

So much pain had engulfed me. I couldn't nether moved on or live my life again. It was so painful being alone. With all these pain, trauma and loneliness, I would really like to end this miserable life, I would really do. I will.

Through the unending night, I clasps my hand to the metal ring in the balcony from my room at the last floor. I starred to the dark road below. I felt the wind gushing to my face, and there tiny rain drops touching my cold skin.

My knees trembled, and tears suddenly fell on my cheeks and disappeared trough the raindrops resting on my face.

I'm seeing my parents once again, that was all I'm thinking.

Finally, I let my force lifted me in the metal bar, seeing closely how far I will fall. I locked my legs in the cold metal ring, ensuring not to fall yet until I would be able to stand rightly.

I scanned the whole streets. There was no one around, a perfect moment indeed. Before anything else, I starred at my room again, it was full of emptiness, as the wind blows the curtains behind the glass door danced with the wind, I saw myself, completely in sadness as my relatives taking away the things my parents had left me. They we're taking my sole happiness. They left me, and now I'm all alone.

I closed my eyes, never wanting to see again the days that had passed since my parents died, and how I was since then. And I said to myself I'm gonna die anyway.

I turned back my attention below. Naiisip ko, what may happen to me is only what fate could give to me, ether I will die or live, all I want was to end all of these. My parents might never forgive me for what I am going to do, but I can't take it anymore.

Hindi ko kinaya ang nangyare sa parents ko. Nawala sila ng walang pasabi. Bilang nag-iisang anak nila, saan ako kukuha muli ng lakas. Tila itinakda ng panahon na maging ulila ako.

I tried to take shelter to my relatives, no one of them had welcomed me. Hindi nila ako pinabayaan pero hindi ko naramdaman na minahal nila ako.

I chose to be alone again. Nasanay ako nakasama sila mama, pero nagyong wala na sila, hindi ko na kinaya ang lungkot, inisip ko anong nagawa ko sa mundo at naging ganito ang buhay ko.

Wala akong matakbuhan, wala akong makausap tungkol sa pinagdadaanan ko. I'm all alone.
Lage kong iniisip na ako naman talaga ang gumagawa ng tadhana ko. I was the reason my parents died. Sa bawat araw na lumilipas, sa bawat pag-ihip ng hangin Hindi ko mapigilang sisihin ang aking sarili. It was me who killed them. Kung hindi ko sana pinili na lumabas that night, hindi sila mawawala sa akin. I never ever wished them to disappear that way, I never wished to be alone, to live like this, to feel this way.

So, I'm ending this now.

"I'm gonna see you again guys, sana mapatawad niyo rin ako ma, pa" bulong ko sa hangin

Slowly niluwagan ko ang pagkakakapit ko sa metal bar. I shut my eyes as I stand facing my room. The wind blows hard this time and made a hard time for me to stand still.

My hair covered my face as I walked to the end of the balcony where it would be possible for me to jump unseen.

There we're no lights in the other rooms, kaya sigurado na ako na walang makaakita sa akin.
I don't want any person to get involve with this.

As I reached the end of the balcony, humawak ako sa pader at muling tiningnan ang baba.

I'm I really sure about this? I ask myself.

I counted to ten before I would jump from where I was standing.

Finally, my legs stood still, then I let myself fell from the back, I was crying, and hoping someone, someone would grab me back, I am now confessing to myself, I really wanted to live, but with the life I had before.

Somehow, my heart stopped for a moment, it was all quiet, it feels like I was floating in the sea, my breathing stopped as well, my mind suddenly froze, I was stocked in time, though the rain continuously fell on me.

I was crying without a sound, as the memories of the past came rushing back at me.

I was ready to die, but I am full of regrets. Someone.... someone..............

Suddenly, a warm grip had stop me in midair, I could feel its tight touch in my skin.

Someone had catch me! Though it is impossible. Who would this be? I made sure there was no one around.

Tumingala ako, pero wala akong makita bukod sa isang braso na nakakapit sa kwelyo ko.

I shut my eyes, I was gonna die until this someone had grabbed me before death could fetch me.

I am not sure if I should thank this stranger. But why did this person bothered to catch me.

I looked up again, this time there was another hand reaching me. Then I noticed I was almost on the ground, just few feet above. I tried to reach the ground, but it was lifting me with its two hand, I couldn't resist, this person was too strong.

" l-leave me alone! " finally I said it.

There was no answer but I heard a grunt, in a manly voice. Was he hurt? Am I the reason?

"Stop trying to save me! I didn't ask for it!! " I tried to stop him but he continued to lift me. Then I heard a grunt again.

"Stop moving! Aahh! You're too heavy! "

What?!

"h-how could y---"

He managed to lift me up into his balcony, there I saw him laying on the floor catching his breath.

I starred at him until he was able to sit facing me. I realized he was a man looking like the same age as me, his dark hair covered his face, ang mga mata niya ay mapupungay, and basing with his voice, I thought he looks like a strict person, but he was different. Napakaamo ng mukha niya.

" Don't ever do that again. " he said in a calm voice.

Umiling ako, bakit ako nandito, I was supposed to die tonight. Nagtagpo ang dalawa Kong kilay at tatayo na Sana ako nang bigla siyang umungol.

Tumalikod siya tila hindi siya mapakali. I tried to reach him, but he blocked my hand at tumayo na nakatalikod pa rin sa akin.

Then I realized he broke his arm.