"Take my hand, and my heart and soul, I will only ever have these eyes for you."
"You're invited to the joining of this man and this woman in holy matrimony..." I read the shitty wedding invitation that has been stuffed in the drawer for weeks. Tomorrow is the big day- the day the woman I love will completely give her body and soul to another man. A man that should have been me. Who the fuck do they think they are sending me an invitation to the shit of a show wedding? I stand from the couch and make my way into the kitchen.
"I'll show them what I think of this damn invitation," I say to nobody but myself. I cross my kitchen in search of a match. I strike the wooden stick across the box until an orange glow omits. I place the match to the edge of the invitation and watch as the fire runs down the paper, turning everything it touches into ash. A slight satisfaction comes with watching a reminder of what I lost burn. I toss the destroyed paper into the sink just before the flame reaches my finger tips.
I don't know how I got here. Well, I vaguely remember staring at the ashes in the sink while my thoughts killed me with the images of what our wedding would be like, or should I say, could've been like. I snatched a bottle of bourbon out of my liquor cabinet and decided some fresh air and booze would help clear my mind- it only led me here, to her. I make my way up the stairs, only loosing my balance twice which I consider to be a success. I knock heavily on the door with one hand while gripping the neck of the nearly empty bottle of liquor with the other. I hear ruffling behind the door and I bring the bottle down from my lips.
"Harry?" She stands in front of me, hair all disarrayed, voice groggy from sleep, rubbing her eyes because of the harsh light in the hallways, and dressed in a robe that I bought her. Beautiful. She's so fucking beautiful.
"Hiiiiii," I nearly scream and she jumps cupping her hand over my mouth to quiet me. I swipe my tongue across her palm that is pressed against my lips and she quickly jerks away. A loud laugh vibrates in my chest when she crinkles her nose and wipes her hand on the satin robe.
"Why are you here, and drunk at that?" She crosses her arms and leans on the door for support. Is her seeing me just as gut-wrenching for her as it is for me? Probably not or else she wouldn't be marrying another man.
"Well aren't you going to invite me in," I shout a little too loudly.
"Come in," she sighs. She demands me to sit and moments later she returns with a glass of water in hand. "Drink this." she forces the cup in my hand and yanks the bourbon from me. I silently comply knowing I already had consumed too much alcohol. "So why are you here, Harry?" She positions herself in the recliner beside me and brings her knees to her chest.
"Are you nervous?" I ask. "Because you always sit that way when you're nervous." She fidgets, shifting from one position to another before finally throwing her hands up in defeat.
"I just don't know why you're here, I have a big day tomorrow and I have to be up in a few hours and I just don't know why you showed up to my flat drunk. Rarely do you drink." She stands to put more distance between us. Distance is something I never want from her.
"Why did you send me it?" The water and the atmosphere is sobering me up by the second.
"Send you what?"
"The invitation to the wedding. Were you purposely trying to put me through hell? Because sorry to disappoint you but you did that when you ended things with us, and that's what is so great about hell, it's eternal. So while you seem to have moved on I'm stuck in this hell for eternity playing out every possible scenario in my head that I could have done something differently that would have made you stay with me." I look up from staring at my glass of water and to see her wide eyed. "But I don't know what I could've done differently."
"I didn't send you the invitation, Harry. I wouldn't have done that. It--it must have been my mother. It must have been her attempt to see you again, she always was smitten with you." I nod my head silently. "Look, Harry, I'm--"
"Don't say you're sorry." I make my way towards her. With each step I take I can see her body stiffening, until her chest is barely rising and falling. "Your sympathy won't fix me." I search her eyes for any sign that she reciprocates my love.
"Then what will," her eyes flutter back and forth from my eyes to my lips.
"Don't ask questions you already know the answer to." I hadn't realized it but her back is now firmly against the wall. "Why do you still wear this robe?" I rub the satin sting that keeps it tied between my fingers.
"B-b-because it's comfortable," she stammers.
"Are you sure that's the reason?" I question. "Do you remember where I got this for you?" She nods and I gently tug on the string loosening the knot slowly. "It was a little lingerie shop in Paris. As soon as I seen it I knew how beautiful it would look on you, your soft nude skin against the delicate fabric." The knot gives free and the robe parts to reveal her naked frame. I snake my hand inside and run it across her warm hip. Her head falls back against the wall and I know the restraint she is trying to withhold from giving into my touch. "Do you ever think about me?" I continue to run my hand up and down her side, "And don't lie to me, please."
She nods.
"Do you ever think about the amazing fucking sex we would have? Remember, don't lie."
She nods, again, but opens her eyes.
"So do I." I swipe my tongue across my lips , "When I touch myself I think about it. It nearly makes me come on the spot." I can feel my jeans getting tighter. "God our sex was amazing. It wasn't just sex for us though, we didn't just fuck to get off, there was so much love behind it and that made each time more amazing than the last." I can see so many thoughts running through her head. She stares so intently at me that I feel like I may melt under her watch. "Does he make you feel beautiful like I can? Does he make you come as strongly as I can?" I brush the lose strands of hair that fall on her shoulder. I take in every detail of how she looks in this moment. If this was going to be the last night I had with her I want to remember everything until the day I died. "More importantly, does he love you like I do."
"How is it that you can do this?" She stares down at the engagement ring on her finger.
"Do what?" I cup her face in my hands and force her to look at me, to really look at me.
"Come back in here and make it as if the last year never happened. As if nobody in the world exists besides you." She leans in against my touch.
"Because I'm your Noah and you're my Ally. So please, don't marry him." I don't care how pathetic I sound, pleading for her to be with me over him. "Choose me."
We both stay silent besides our heavy breathing. An eternity seems to pass by before she finally parts her lips to answer me.
"Harry there isn't a choice to be made." Her eyes brim with tears and I feel like my heart may thump out of my chest. "It always will be you and nobody else. I love you so much and I'm so sorry for ever doubting us." Her tears spill over and it isn't until my lips are on hers that I realize our tears are mixing together.
"Tell me that you turn down the man who asked for your hand because you're waiting for me."
A/N: This one is such shit and I apologize for that. Much love .xx
