Fragments

nick names.

We weren't really that close. We've never talked to each other before.

But I knew him. Best-case scenario, he has heard of me. But it's very unlikely.

It was our first time having each other as classmates. I didn't really get the chance to talk to him for the first few months. We only became friends when the school year was about to end.

How I wished I had talked to him sooner. At the same time, I wish I never got close to him.

I should've known it would lead to nothing. That he would never fall for me as hard as I did for him.

And that I will be the only one affected, no matter what happened.

Yeah, I really should've known. We were on opposite sides.

He was good at socializing and everyone enjoyed his company. I, on the other hand, am too awkward to be approached by anyone and too cowardly to approach anyone. Now that I think about it, how did we even start talking to each other?

He was the type to spontaneously sing out some song. Many of us in the class have noticed that he really likes Nick Jonas' songs and always sings them out loud on a whim whenever he got the chance. Because of this, he was officially dubbed as "Nick" by his friends. He was happy about it but he deemed it was unfair that he was the only who has a nickname.

And so his mission to give everyone a nickname came about. It was his own little game: "Nick Names" He explains to everyone that it's like Simon Says, but with his name.

Everyday, five days a week, he would name someone as someone. He started off with his friends then to his friends' friends then to others. As you may have guessed, I belong with the 'others'.

Deep inside, I was curious about how and what he'll name me.

Despite that, I've dreaded the day he would. I was already preparing myself for a lifetime of embarrassment and evasion. Then that day came. Finally.

We've been groupmates at one subject for 5 long months already, but that was the first time we engaged in an actual conversation.

It wasn't just a series of 'hey's and 'how are you's. It was real.

I found out how playful he was. We used to goof around during free time. We would invent random games to entertain ourselves. We talked about nerdy things that I never thought he was into. You can tell, I was really happy to be his friend.

To have someone spending precious time with you, all the short memorable moments; it's all I could ever hope for.

Every three months, our class adviser would assign us to different seats. Nick was assigned to sit next to me. He became my seatmate for a few months and I got to spend more time with him.

And the more I knew him, the harder I fell.

And the harder you fall, the stronger the impact. The more it hurts.

My other friends were already teasing me about my friendship with him. His friends seemed to tease him too.

The teasing never really helps. It just makes me like him more.

I would always deny that we're together, because we're not. But he would play along with the others and tell them not to tease me because he'll get mad.

He would act protective and again, it just doesn't help. I kept falling and falling.

Then I wondered, does he feel the same way?

No, I hoped he felt the same way. That was all I can do. Hope. Wish.

Because I was well aware that he and his girl had a fight. She avoids him but he always ends up going after her.

Why? Because he still loves her. So bad.

After school, he would come up to her and try to patch things up. All those times that we spent together playing games on his phone, I would always see her as his wallpaper. When we're having a good time, his friends would come and joke about Nick cheating because he already has someone else.

Even if he didn't show it, I knew how much he thought about her.

Behind his smiles, he was in pain. So was I.

And so it became my mission to keep him happy. To cheer him up. I wanted to be the person to show him why he should smile even more.

There I was, foolishly hoping he would move on and forget about her.

Move on and make room for another. For me.

It's true, the time I've spent with him was one of the best times I've ever had. But they weren't all smiles.

Oh right, about my nickname. I almost forgot. He gave me different names. I became an 'Angel', a 'Rose', a 'Little Nerd'.

But I never became 'his'.

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Hello :D

No matter how heartbreaking it may seem, these memories aren't really that bad. We may feel down for quite a long time but it also cultivates us or even inspires us (me, to write, for example.)

Truly, from every sad ending comes forth a happy beginning. :)

Did you think of anyone while reading this chapter?