Sunset

Chapter 2: Beginnings

When I was little, and bad things would happen (I/E mom passing out drunk) I used to sing. I would make up my own songs, mostly, other times I would sing things I had heard on the radio or tv. I never made a sing about heartbreak.
I had never experienced this feeling of intense sadness before. I had always been the one to end things with my past boyfriend's. "It's getting too complicated." "You are too controlling." "Things just aren't working out." Are all terms I had used, and I just assumed that how all relationships ended. Smoothly.
He called me constantly. Every minute on the minute. He texted me nonstop. "Baby I'm sorry. Please come back." "I love you Rue. Please don't leave me." "BABE ANSWER ME" were some of his tactics. I, instead of getting over him like a normal human being, was crying in my bed, watching Rom coms and eating Ben and Jerry's ice cream. I was pitiful.
Skyler texted a few times, not enough to make me think she even valued our friendship.
So eventually I decided I was not going to feel totally depressed and self conscious. I put on a huge hoodie and some skinny jeans. I tied my hair back in a messy bun. I didn't worry with makeup.
I looked in the mirror for a long time. This is who I am. Really. It was very bizarre. I had never been self conscious. I was always told I was sexy and gorgeous. It never occurred to me I wasn't. But I was being lied to.
I turned on the radio and some really intense heavy metal came on. I instinctively went to change the station, but I didn't. I kept it in and let my ears get used to the heavy pounding on drums and high pitched electric guitar solos.
I drove around for a bit, not really sure what to do. Frankly I just wanted to go back and sulk in my room, but that wouldn't fix anything. I finally decided to go to mall.
When I got there, I saw it was pretty packed. It was the middle December on a Saturday, Christmas wasn't too far off. I guess people were buying last minute Christmas gifts. I walked in, and immidetly saw the crowd I would gravitate too.
Stacy, Hannah, Jocelyn, Chrissie, and Emmy were all flyers on the cheer squad. They were really good as well. They were also incredibly popular.
But then there were the nerds and geeks. Edward, Olivia, Izzy, Zander, and Mary. I used bully Mary a lot. I'm not sure why, I guess because everyone else did. Edward hates me.
I decided I couldn't let anyone on the cheer squad see me without make up on or with my natural straight hair. I hadn't had my regular hair in ages. My eyes were still bloodshot from all the crying I'd been doing.
I awkwardly walked over to the geeks. "Hi Rue!" Izzy said kindly. "Hey Izzy." I replied. "Why say hi, Izzy?" Edward stared daggers at me. "Oh, we had a nice conversation at the party last night when you guys left." She answered. "Oh." Edward looked down. There was an awkward silence before Mary said "Hiya Rue!" She smiled. It was a stunning smile. "Hi Mary." Grinned a bit. "Have you been doing weed?" She asked seriously. "What? No!" I exclaimed, the others snickering. "Well Why are your eyes bloodshot?" He asked me. "I, um, have been doing a bit of crying recently." I had no idea why I said that. Now all the nerds knew I was sad. Great. "Oh. I'm sorry. Do you want to talk about it?" Asked me, putting a hand on my shoulder. "No, I'm ok. Thanks." I said.
"We were about to go to HotTopic. Want to come?" Zander asked me. Zander was a good looking, for a geek. He had a good jawline and freckles dotted the bridge of his nose and upper cheeks. His eyes were a light blue color, and his hair was a dark brown. "Sure." I answered, smiling a bit.
We walked in the small shop, and I could see why they liked it. It was filled to the roof with band merchandise and anime things. Mary, Izzy, and Olivia dragged me over to a rack of dresses, and told me to buy one that was black and had lots of beautiful roses sewed onto it. "There. Now, go put that on." Olivia instructed me as the boys came back over to join us. I walked to the dressing room and pulled off my clothes and put the new dress on. I walked out, feeling kind of cute for the first time all day. They all gasped. "Look at her! She makes such a cute lil bean!" Mary squeled. They all nodded. Zander stared at me longer than all the others, I looked away and blushed.