Blue (Destiel Highschool AU)

Chapter 16

Cas' Pov

"So what did you want to talk to me about?" Dean asked leaning against the metal framework of the bleachers. 

"Well." My heart was hammering and I felt sick. I pressed my back against the opposite metal frame to steady myself. "I know I said I'd give you time before we talked about yesterday again, but I need to talk now. It might even help you make up your mind."

Dean blushed, "Ok then," He sounded hesitant, "What do you need to say?"

"I should have told you sooner, like the first time we kissed. But I didn't because I was scared of what you'd say. But basically, I really like you Dean, not just as a friend. I think I've properly fallen for you." It all came out as one big rush of air. Dean's eyes widened, looking at him made me too nervous so I averted my eyes to the floor. 

"But I get it if you're totally creeped out, and I really don't want this to ruin our friendship because you're the best friend I've ever had and if you end up moving away and we're not friends anymore that'll be horrible." I rambled on and on the way I often did when I was really nervous. I heard Dean say my name a few times and was aware that he was slowly walking towards me but I ignored him and continued talking in fear that if I looked at him I'd crack and break down. 

"And I know you're straight and probably just experimenting so I don't know why I got my hopes up but I did and I don't know how you feel, I hardly know how I feel." I wasn't making any sense so when I heard Dean say "Cas stop." I did.

I raised my eyes for the first time since I'd opened my mouth and saw Dean was now standing right in front of me. I felt a tear roll down my cheek as Dean lifted his hands and held onto mine. 

"Cas." He sighed and for a moment I thought I saw a hint of pity that told me it was all over. If Dean pitied me he'd never want to date me. But it was only a flicker and what he did next told me I'd completely misread his reaction. 

He leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine. I kissed back, this kiss felt different to the first two. It was so much better, this time it wasn't like Dean was just kissing me because he was curious, it was like he was kissing me because he loved me. And even if that wasn't true I allowed myself to believe it just for a while. 

I hadn't noticed I was crying until I felt tears falling on my cheeks. And on Dean's. After at least a minute Dean smiled into the kiss. I smiled too and soon we were both laughing foreheads pressed together.  

"So." I said between weird little laugh sobs. 

"So, did that help put your mind to rest. I'm still so fucking confused and I have no idea what this means my sexuality is. But one thing I know for sure is that I really like you Cas, I really, really like you. I love spending time with you, you make me feel like I'm my best self when I'm around you. And I'm definitely attracted to you. So yeah if you're up for it, I'd really like to make this work."

I didn't stop crying, but this time it wasn't because I was sad or nervous, but because I hadn't been this happy in such a long time. No one I'd ever liked had liked me back. And here was Dean Winchester the guy I've fallen hardest for in my life telling me he wanted to try and make us work. 

"I'd like that a lot." I choked and Dean laughed. 

He reached up and wiped my damp cheeks with his thumb. It reminded me of the first time we kissed in the exact same place weeks ago after I'd been beaten up by Azazel. This time I was the one to kiss him, I couldn't resist. He smiled into the kiss again and I smiled back. Dean rested his hands on my hips and I wrapped my arms around his neck to deepen the kiss. 

After a solid minute or so we heard the loud school bell ring signalling the end of the day, but Dean didn't move. He was playing with the bottom of my shirt and I felt his thumbs brush against my skin. That was when I gently pulled away. "Ok slow down, if we're gonna do this we'll do it slowly, one step at the time."