A Howling in the Hills (Prev. Adjusting) (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 16 - Aftermath

The next few weeks after I woke up blended together almost seamlessly. It was difficult to remember any one specific moment, only the general feelings of depression and despair. In those days, I quickly got used to the silence that hung in almost every room.
It was hard to deal with, and nobody liked it, but we didn't know what could be done to fix it.
The pack members both felt betrayed and relieved at the results of the attack. They hated that their Alpha's son had deceived them for so long, and tried to take the pack - with no regards for the possible lost lives he could have caused. Yet, no lives had been lost, and for that they were wonderfully grateful. They held a bittersweet air about them and they tried to do everything in their power to help their Alphas.
Alpha John had disappeared. Locked away in his room, his presence was only known at night, when his mournful howls of son's betrayal pierced the cold air.
Maria had taken over his duties, becoming the epitome of the Alpha Female. She held biweekly pack meetings to keep everyone up to date. She organized pack get-togethers in an attempt to increase morale. And every other day, she called each household and talked personally to the wolves, seeing how they were feeling and encouraging them to come to the pack house for dinner or any other time of the day if they needed anything.
Brian had reverted even further into his cold, hard shell. The emotions he used to show, despite being in a small range from apathetic to pissed, had completely disappeared. All that was left now was his blank mask and lifeless eyes. Even his voice had become monotonous and void of emotions. He stayed up late most nights, the evidence appearing in the bags under his eyes. His spirit was just... gone.
I wasn't one to talk when it came to how Brian was acting. I felt lost. I was floating through the days, each dawn and dusk blending into one another with little distinction. Not even my nightmares stuck out anymore from each other - though they still kept me from a decent night's rest. I didn't pay attention to the little details, like when I had actually showered or eaten, I just floated to my next task.
I knew Maria was worried about me. I saw her eyes following me whenever I entered a room she was in, and I knew that when she insisted I eat dinner with her, it wasn't just her being friendly.
But I paid her no mind. I just kept floating.
But what comes up, must come down.
***
I awoke on a cement floor, my shoulders aching and my naked flesh freezing. I shivered and tried to put my arms down, but it was a futile effort; a clang rang out and echoed against the walls, reminding me yet again that my arms were chained and there was no point in trying to escape. Laughter traveled rang out from overhead, speaking volumes as it did.
That will never be your life, it said.
You are an animal, it declared.
You will never know happiness, it screamed.
I stopped pretending to fall asleep, and silently cried.
***
I laid on a soft mattress, with a large canopy overhead and silky red sheets against my skin. The aesthetics, as beautiful as they were, unfortunately did nothing to ease the bruises and the cuts on my skin. Blood seeped into the bed, only slightly hidden by the hue of the sheets.
"You ready for round two, bitch?" I heard a gruff voice beside me say.
I bit back my tears and closed my eyes, holding down my vomit as I forced myself to respond in the way I was taught.
"Yes please, master."
***
He sat in front of me on the bed I was chained to.
"Have I told you how beautiful you are, Adrian?"
I kept my mouth closed, my teeth clenched, and my eyes down. His hand reached out and grabbed my jaw, tilting my head up and forcing me to look into his sparkling green eyes.
"Because you are. Especially like this. Fully in my control, your skin so colorful... beautiful."
He stroked my chin softly with his fingertips, seeming almost human as he stared into my eyes.
"I don't know why you fight me," he whispered, his fingers never stopping. "I only want what's best for you."
I squeezed my eyes shut, keeping my tears from falling.
"We're meant to be together. You just need to be taught your place, then everything will be so much better. You'll see."
I nodded, hoping to appease him. He accepted that and laid a soft kiss on my forehead before letting go of my chin, standing up, and leaving the room.
As soon as I heard the click of the door shutting behind him, I let go. I cried myself to sleep.
***
When I awoke, it was hard to tell. My other nightmares... they weren't this real. My heart was throbbing, torn into pieces and burned to ashes. My eyes stung, tears still pouring out of them. But most of all, when I awoke, I felt unclean.
So many men and women had abused my mind and my body. I could feel their touch on me still, their whispers into my ear, their anger when my body didn't react to them. I was frantically scratching at my skin, trying to get the feeling to go away.
Feeling nauseous, I jumped out of my bed and ran to the nearest bathroom, slamming the door behind me before turning the water on for the shower to its hottest setting. I ripped my clothes off and climbed into the shower, hissing only slightly at the intense heat. I grabbed my bar of soap and began to scrub every inch of my body. The feeling only slightly went away as the hot water ran out and my exhaustion began to kick in. I let the cool water run over my overheated skin for a moment before climbing out and grabbing a towel. I groaned as the towel touched my oversensitive skin. Shaking my head slightly, I gathered the remains of my clothes and exited the bathroom, walking ever-so-slowly in an attempt to reduce chafing.
I was almost at my bedroom door, consumed entirely by my thoughts, when a hand landed on my shoulder.
I immediately tensed up and was about to scream when I heard Brian's voice in a raspy whisper.
"No, wait, calm down! It's only me!"
I slowly turned around to face him, clutching my towel tightly to my body. I began to shake with anxiety when I realized just how exposed I was to him.
"What are you doing?" he asked as his eyes picked up on my shaking frame, the water still clinging to me, and the bright red tint of my skin.
"I... I took a shower," I whispered.
He slowly reached his hand out to touch my arm before quickly letting go as I flinched back.
"Jesus, you just about burned your skin off. Come on," he said in a stage whisper before barreling past me and going straight into my room. I blinked owlishly before following him.
He was deep in my closet, looking for something. I sat down on the bed to wait, feeling a cool breeze from the window Brian must have just opened. I closed my eyes, berating myself for not bringing a pair of pajamas into the bathroom with me as I breathed in the crisp air and listened to the nocturnal animals' songs. After a moment or two of this, I felt a presence in front of me and opened my eyes.
Brain stood there, holding a small pile of fabric and looking at me curiously. When he noticed my eyes were open, he flinched slightly before hardening his face back into the apathetic expression it had been holding for the past several weeks. He grabbed the clothing that was sitting on top of some bed sheets and handed them to me.
"Go change, either in the bathroom or in the closet."
I nodded and went back to the bathroom to follow out his commands. The pajamas he'd given me were a matching set of gray, silky smooth pants and a button-up shirt. They felt soft against my angry red skin and provided a cool relief. I sighed in quiet contentment before padding back down the hall and to my bedroom.
I was surprised to say the least when I returned to my room. Brian had changed my sheets, made my bed, and was in the process of drawing the covers when I entered. I waited for him to finish before I spoke.
"Why are you being so nice to me?" I asked.
He quickly stood up and turned to look at me as the last of his emotions disappeared from his eyes.
"Don't worry about it," he replied. "Just go back to bed."
He was confusing me, but I nodded. He nodded back before walking toward the door as I went to my bed.
"Adrian?" he suddenly asked.
I turned toward him and saw he had stopped at the door and was looking at me over his shoulder.
"Meet me for breakfast at eight tomorrow. We have to talk."
I simply nodded again and he left, shutting the door quietly behind him. Once alone again, I climbed into the bed and pulled my blankets over me, reveling in the softness of the new sheets and my new pajamas. The combination of the cool air and the warm air quickly had me drowsy again, and I dropped off into a dreamless sleep.
***
Waking up again was disorienting. I hadn't had a dreamless night in several weeks, so when I did wake from one, I wasn't quite sure what was going on. Once I was fully awake, however, I remembered the previous night and relaxed. I gave myself a moment or two of relaxation before I glanced over at my bedside clock. It was about 7:30, which gave me plenty of time to get ready for breakfast, but not so much that I could stay in bed and hope for a short, dreamless nap.
With a small sigh, I pushed myself up into a sitting position, rubbed my eyes, and stumbled out of the bed. After a short stretch, I walked over to my closet and pulled open the door. And there I stayed, at the threshold of my closet. I wasn't sure if Brian was expecting me to wear something specific. After all, he had acted strangely when asking - well, telling - me to join him for breakfast. After several moments of staring blankly into my closet and a few minutes of digging through my clothing, I decided to give up and say to hell with it. I then grabbed the first cotton tee and jeans that I saw, along with a pair of clean briefs, before stepping back into my room and shutting my closet door behind me.
I didn't take long to dress and was soon standing in front of the lone mirror in my bedroom. I hadn't used it before, but I really hadn't been a part of the pack for long either. I tried to ignore the bags under my eyes and the gauntness of my cheeks by focusing on my messy hair. I combed through the shaggy locks a few times with my hair, mentally deciding it was time for a trim. I glanced back at the clock and sighed to myself. I still had about ten minutes, but couldn't find anything else that would let me successfully stall. So, I grit my teeth, squared my shoulders, and left the room.
It seemed as though the large pack house was empty of all people, causing my walk to be silent. But not lonesome - I couldn't be lonely. People always wanted something from you if they were friendly, so why would I want their company?
I shook those thoughts out of my head when I entered the dining room so I could focus on what Brian would want to talk about.
That is, if he was going to show up - the dining room was just as void of life as the rest of the house seemed to be.
I waited for a minute in the dining room before going to the kitchen to see if he was there instead. Luckily for me, he was.
I hovered outside the open kitchen door, watching Brian's back as he cooked at the stove. Although I couldn't see what was in the pans, the smell of bacon and eggs wafting toward me gave me an idea.
"You gonna stand there forever or you gonna come join me?" Brian suddenly asked, interrupting my thoughts.
I barely kept the blush off my face and walked into the kitchen, pausing slightly before going toward the cabinets. After poking around for a moment, I set out pairs of forks, plates, and cups on the counter. I then moved to one of the fridges, opening the door and leaning forward to peer inside.
"What do you want to drink?" I asked as I grabbed the orange juice for myself.
When I got no response, I poked my head out around the open fridge door to look at him. Just as I did, he whipped around to face the stove; it was almost as if he had been... staring at me.
I shook that ridiculous notion out of my head as soon as it appeared.
Why would he be looking at you like that?
I turned away from him, sticking my head in the fridge.
You're nothing special.
My eye squeezed tightly shut.
No one's going to actually love you. Who would love someone as filthy and soiled as you?
A single tear slid down my cheek.
"Orange juice."
I hastily wiped my face and stood up straight, looking toward Brian's back.
"I'd like some orange juice," he reiterated with a soft tone. I nodded and shut the fridge. I filled both glasses with juice and set them, along with the plates and forks, on the island. As a last minute thought, I grabbed a couple of paper towels from the roll and set one next to each plate to use as napkins.
Brian had yet to move.
I stalled for a few more moments by rearranging the dishes and returning the juice to the fridge, but I quickly ran out of inane tasks to waste time.
"Brian?" I hesitantly said. "Is it ready yet?"
He flinched at my voice and seemed to snap out of his thoughts.
"Yeah."
I heard the clicks of the stove being turned off and went over to grab one of the pans. As I grabbed the scrambled eggs and its spatula, Brian had already walked over to our plates with the bacon and a pair of tongs. We setly served the meal, walked to the dining room, and sat down with our breakfasts.
We ate. Save for the sounds of silverware clinking against plates, the room was silent. My anger and irritation with Brian began to grow as the silence stretched and the minutes began to tick by. By the time I finished eating, I looked up to see him still picking at his nearly-full plate and snapped.
"What do you want?" I questioned, shoving my plate away from me as I glared at him with narrow eyes.
He remained quiet and looked at me with shock and confusion flashing through his eyes before the mask slid back on.
"What are you talking about?" he asked calmly.
"Don't play dumb with me," I warned. "You told me to have breakfast with you because you had to talk to me. Now here we are, with breakfast, and you've yet to say a single word."
"Oh right, that."
I clenched my jaw to keep from shouting as he took a nonchalant sip of his juice. When he set it down again, he set aside his plate and glass before leaning on the table and looking me in the eyes.
"I wanted to talk to you about two things. First, I think it's time you start working for the pack."
I raised an eyebrow, but didn't interrupt.
"You could probably work in the garden, or maybe collect firewood. There are other jobs too, of course, but I'm not sure what interests you."
I chewed on my bottom lip, thinking about what might suit me.
"I'm not sure what I'd like to do," I said slowly. "Maybe something with the pups?"
"Sure, you can help out with that. I'll get you all set up with that after breakfast."
I nodded and settled back in my chair, looking at him expectantly.
"The second thing?" I asked.
"Oh, right. I think you need to talk to Jude."
"Why, is he alright?" I quickly asked as worry spread through me.
"He's fine," Brian reassured. "He just doesn't know anyone around here, other than you."
"He knows you," I pointed out.
Brian shook his head. "It's not the same. He's scared of me."
"Hmm, I wonder why," I sarcastically remarked.
Brian let out a dry chuckle and nodded. "Exactly my point."
I looked at him for a moment, trying to figure him out. The silence returned for a moment as I puzzled over the enigma that was Brian.
"Alright," I said finally. "I'll talk to him."
He nodded, then stood up, grabbing both of our plates as he went.
"I'll take care of these," he said. "Go talk to Jude, then we'll go down to the nursery and the classrooms and see about your job."
"Thank you," I said softly. He nodded and turned away, going into the kitchen.
He was incredibly confusing to me. One moment, he loathed Jude and me for being rogues, and the next he seemed to - somehow - care for us. It was the strangest thing, and I knew I had to figure out what was going on.
But first, I needed to talk to Jude.