Have Faith in Me

Be My Cure

It has been a few days since Jack and I had talked. I was aware of how badly I had hurt him and it killed me. I stayed inside most of the time while Lisa ran errands, although staying in made me feel incapable of anything.

I used to whine about my illness and I shut Jack out. I needed to talk to Jack...hear his voice...and tell him how sorry I was for making him feel the way he did.

"Hey you," Lisa nudged my leg.

I flipped on my side facing her. This was the third time today that she's came in the bedroom asking me to get out of the house for awhile.

"I'm gonna go to the Farmer's Market. Do you want to come with?" She had a caring smile placed on her face. She grinned even wider, mentally begging me to go.

I took in a deep breath before nodding my head yes.

It would be good for me to get some fresh air, something I hadn't experienced for a few days.

I lazily slipped on some skinny jeans, a red and white flannel, and my favorite pair of black Steve Madden combat boots. My jeans were two sizes too big by now, my shirt a little bigger than normal.

That was another reason I didn't want to leave the premises, people could tell I was sick and the looks that I had received made me want to hide forever. I felt sick, too. That was the worst part; I could never hide it no matter how hard I tried to.

"You know," Lisa started as we drove down the main street, "Alex asks about you all the time."

"Oh? And why would he do that?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"You know why just as much as I do," she flashed a look of disapproval.

"Look, Jack was very sweet to me. He took care of me when nobody was there. He could've taken me to the hospital and left thinking in the back of his mind, hoping, someone would show up for me, but he stayed. Then there I go, throwing it back in his face only for him to rip my heart out as he got on that bus. If I talk to him, or any of them, I'm going to get my butt handed to me for saying the things that I said to him," I turned my head looking out the window once again.

"That's a damn lie. He loves you! That's why he took care of you, Ari. And you were scared," she giggled while trying to lighten the heaviness in the air, "that's okay to be scared." We stopped in front of the Farmer's Market.

I watched an older couple walk out hand in hand with a sac of tomatoes, apples, and other veggies inside. Why couldn't life be that easy? Why couldn't life hand you a guy, give you a couple of kids, tell you your fate, and let you live it, knowing what will happen next.

Lisa pulled me out of my trance by handing me her phone before saying "You need to call him."

I nodded knowing I wouldn't get my way. I went through her contacts before seeing Babe and a couple of kissing emojis and pressed the call icon.

The phone rang about four times before Alex answered.

"Hey baby girl! How's milady?!" Alex yelled in a weird accent.

His words made me blush and even smile a bit. "Hey sorry to dissapoint but it's Ariel. Is uh, is Jack around?" I fiddled with the seam of my jeans as I waited for him to reply.

He paused for a few sconds before replying.

"Of course you can. Let me find him." I heard muffled sounds before hearing what I needed to hear so dearly, his voice.

"Hey man, it's Ari." I heard Alex whisper.

"What? Is she here? Let me talk to her." It made me smile knowing he was so eager to talk to me as well.

"No she's on the phone...here." I assumed Alex handed the phone to Jack as he whispered a thank you.

Every second that I waited for Jack to talk through the phone was a second that I regretted taking Lisa's phone out of her hands. I gripped my knee with the palm of my hand and took a deep breath followed by a swallow, metaphorically swallowing my pride.

I couldn't deny it anymore, I needed Jack in my life and to not drown him in my emotions.

"Yeah?" I heard the pain and longing in his voice.

"Jack?" What? Did I really just ask if that was Jack...duh it's Jack!

"Ariel...how are you?"

"I'm uh, I'm good. Lisa has been trying to get me out of the house for a while now." I paused before quietly laughing.

"I'm glad you're okay. So what's up?" Jack was completely oblivious to what I was about to lay on him.

I paused for minute before realizing that I made the call, I wanted to talk to him. I asked for him, so I had to call the shots and do all the talking.

"I'm really sorry. To be honest, I'm not quite sure what I'm supposed to say here since Lisa made me call you." Shit! That wasn't the right thing to say.

"She did? Why would she do that?" He questioned before I could correct my brainless remark.

"That's not important. What's important is-" My eyes darted to the driver's side as Lisa got in the car.

She mouthed "is that Jack" as she shut the door. I nodded my head nervously before remembering he was still on the line.

"What's important. Right." I reminded myself trying desperately to not sound like an idiot. "I just miss you Jack. You know, I don't know how much longer I'll have and I don't want-" I choked back tears; voice shakey. "I don't want to count down the days without you." I let it all out.

"Ariel," he sniffled. "You're not dying. You WON'T die, okay?"

"Jack, please." I sniffled some more.

"Listen to me. I will always love you and I will always be right there when you need me. But right now isn't the best time for this."

My heart shattered and then some.

"Good bye Jack. I'm uh- I'm sorry. Calling you was a mistake."

I hung up the phone before silence filled the space between Lisa and I. Her face looked like she just saw a puppy get shot and then run over. But to be completely honest, I was the puppy. A puppy with nine lives like a cat and I was now only down to one.