CHAPTER 1
It was 3 a.m, I sat there sobbing as thoughts,ideas, memories, names went through my mind. I was curled in a ball rocking myself back and fourth. back and fourth. I didn't know what to do, but I knew I was done, my step-dad abused me, my mom was an alcoholic and was hooked on drugs and never believed anything when I talked to her. my dad died from cancer, and he was the one person that loved me and kept me going. at school, kids would shove me into the lockers and spread rumors about me. when I didn't even know them. I had no friends, no one to talk too. I was done, I sat there rocking. back and fourth. back and fourth. chewing on my nails. I wanted to die. I was going to kill myself. no one will care, no one will notice. why does it even matter. thoughts we blowing through my head like a tornado, I just sat there sobbing, rocking back and forth. back and forth. I don't know what to do, i stood up and sat on my bed, breathing, I was ready. my legs carried me to the bathroom without hesitation, the cold tiles gave shivers on my feet when I walked in. I opened our bathroom cabinet,there were so many... I grabbed 5 and was going to take them all. I stood there twisting off all the caps and poring small amounts of each one in my hand. I stood there and watched my hand. this is it. I brought. it up slowly.... I was sobbing. and the thoughts were going throughout my head still. I had this weird feeling, a feeling of hope. I dropped the pills and stopped myself, life will get better.. right? I don't know, but I wanted it to. I couldn't end my life. i drop to the floor not knowing what to do.. and just think. I would give myself a week, a week to see if I could find help. I knew I needed it. and if I didn't.... I would be standing in the same spot, but not breathing.
