SPIKE: hey gang welcome to the directors commentary on my hit show
BOYMENS COWJAZZ
JET: hey how should we do this because half of this show is filler if you really want to get technical
SPIKE: if its in here its important
JET: all COWBOY BEBOP episodes are QUEENS
SPIKE: if she breath she a FILLER
JET: anyways
what happens in the first episode
i mean SESSION
SPIKE: that was filler
JET: but what about the parts with the BLOODY EYE
SPIKE: you mean RED EYE
JET: fuck off
SPIKE: on to SESSION 2
this is where story happens
JET: didnt you fight HAKEEM ABDUL JABBAR
SPIKE: lets take a look
[SESSION 2: STRAY DOG STRUT]
JET: someone stole a dog
SPIKE: yeah fuck dogs
im going to go congratulate him
JET: he has a bounty now
SPIKE: and arrest him
ABDUL HAKEM: i was in a BRUCE LEE movie
SPIKE: okay
ill be BRUCE LEE
[SPIKE hicks his head off so hard it doesnt come off]
BIG SCIENCE BOYS: we want that PUP
SPIKE: well i sure as fuck dont want it
and since you ask
im gonna have to keep the dog
[the POLICE arrest everyone but SPIKE and THE DOG]
JET: the dogs name is EIN
SPIKE: i dont care at all
[END of SESSION 2]
SPIKE: well JET
what did you think of that episode
i mean SESSION
JET: was i even in that one
SPIKE: probably we were the only established characters as of SESSION 2
JET: speaking of established characters
how about this next session
fuck it im calling it episode
how about this next one SPIKE
SPIKE: yeah
its when we met FAYE
JET: let me tell you all about it
[SESSION 3: HONKY TONK WOMAN]
FAYE: hello boys
JET: we are poor bounty hunters
FAYE: goodbye boys
[END of SESSION 3]
SPIKE: and we never saw her again
FAYE: you can fuck right off
JET: sometimes i imagine shes still here to take the pain away
YOU ARE READING
The REAL Real Folks Blues
Humorthis is the plot of whichever cowboy bebop episodes i decided to write about