Rainbow Six Siege: Complications

Chapter 5 (cont): His Matryoshka

When you woke up, you found yourself still in Shuhrat's embrace. You turned around carefully to avoid waking him up and took a good look at his sleepy face in the morning light. His lips were curved up, perhaps he was having a good dream, and his hair a dark mess, blocking his forehead. You stared and studied his jawline, his nose, and his cheeks. He was beautiful, and so peaceful that you could feel his steady breath on your skin.

You tore your gaze away from his face and looked down at his body. Even with a shirt on, you could see his well-defined muscles, and of course, his strong arms. You loved the masculinity emanating from him, making you feel safe and secured.

You dared not touch him, in anticipation of your actions waking him up, and simply enjoyed the quiet moment in bed with him. You asked yourself, what was him to you really? Thinking back on all your yearning and longing for him, and how it all resolved the moment you met him again, you understood that you placed him somewhere between a brother and a lover. After all, the warm flush you felt whenever he touched you was certainly not platonic.

You wanted to feel his touch, and you wanted more.

You wanted to kiss him again, like you did last night, only this time you wanted it to last a bit longer. And as your thoughts propelled you forward, you found yourself staring at his lips and biting down on your own, your heart beating like a drum.

Just a gentle kiss.

Just one.

You tilted your head and pushed your lips against his, a light tap, something you thought would never wake him up, and maybe it didn't, but you swore you felt his arm twitch when your lips met. Shuhrat's lips were soft and warm, and you etched this memory in your mind. It was your first real kiss, and your entire body reacted to it. You felt a pit forming in your stomach and the tip of your fingers tingle, and it was all because of him. Ripples of happiness centered on your heart radiated out to every corner of your being, almost bringing tears to your eyes.

You haven't been this happy since... forever.

Pulling your head back, you closed your eyes and held your breath, listening for any movement from him, and to your relief there was none. A stolen kiss, you smiled to yourself, getting a bit teary. It would be your secret, buried along with the many words, thoughts, like flashcards in your head. Loving him was a terrifying concept to you, just like becoming close to anyone in general. When you loved someone too much, it was easy for them to hurt you, easy for them to leave, to forget you, and to vanish. In a sense, you were protecting yourself by putting a safe distance in between.

I love you, Shuhrat. You confessed silently and sighed, attempting to send yourself to sleep again. You closed your eyes and inhaled his scent, wishing that you could stay in this moment for eternity.

The next time you woke, it was just past noon and Shuhrat wasn't there anymore. You rubbed your eyes and lifted yourself off the bed to stretch lazily, your arms high up in the air. You checked the calendar on the wall and felt relieved that you still had a good week to spend with Shuhrat before he had to go again. How you wished days would last forever, so you could keep him with you selfishly.

The two of you met at the lunch table and your adoptive parents were happy that you finally started talking to them again, thanks to Shuhrat. They asked him about his time in the military, especially his father had many questions for his current position. You could tell from the man's eyes that he was so very proud of his son and it made you smile. Watching him interact with his father, you wished you could gaze into your father's eyes again.

"You all grow so fast, I sometimes forget you aren't little kids making toys anymore." You heard his mother say, "Remember Shuhrat, always create for good."