Memoirs of Class 1A: Talk You Down

Step 4: Moon Boots

 When I arrived at the cliff, he was already waiting for me. Holding a pot of what smelled like pulled pork, he was standing there, staring off at the distance. Already his eyes looked brighter than before. But they weren't as bright as they used to be.

"Hey, Cyril. Did you wait for long?" I asked. He turned to me and for a second, I saw stars in his eyes.

He didn't say a word. Instead, he just shook his head. But really, that was enough.

I set down my container on the grass and the grass crunched underneath it. Then, I stood next to him and looked off the cliff. The view was as amazing as always. Like everywhere else on the island, you could see the pretty city line of the town. But here, there was so much more than that. From here, you could see the ocean that spread all around the island. Here, you could see the waves crashing along the banks of the beach if you squinted. Here, you could maybe see the leaves of the trees as they rustled in the wind. But then, way above it, you had a perfect view of the starry sky.

On this cliff, there was nothing blocking the sky. No trees, no buildings, no ships—just open air. It was the perfect place to lay down and just stare at the sky. Stargazing, cloud watching—it didn't matter. This was the place to do it. And no one else knew about it. No one else except for us... and our parents and family, probably.

I lay down on the grass. The frozen blades of grass nipped against my fingertips. But I didn't really mind. The view from here was worth all the pain.

Soon, Cyril decided to lay down next to me. He was still holding his pot of pulled pork, too. We just laid there, staring at the sky in silence while we smelled the scent of the ocean paired with his mom's pork. It was a salty mess—we knew—but there really wasn't anything better than it. Especially not now. Not when the sky was so bright and there wasn't a moon in sight.

"Yesterday night would've been a more perfect night to stay out," I claimed.

In the corner of my eye, I saw him turn to me. "Why?"

"Because then the moon rabbit would've been with us, too."

"The moon rabbit?"

"My mom used to tell me this story about this rabbit, fox, and monkey who were trying to feed a hungry old man. But unlike the other animals, the rabbit threw itself into a fire to feed him. The old man turned out to be the ruler of one of the heavens and he was so pleased with its offering that he drew its body on the moon so everyone could see it," I explained. "So if we had stayed out yesterday, maybe it would have stayed with us, too."

He was quiet for a moment. It was like he was letting the story sink in. And then, he asked the most important question: "So did the old man eat the rabbit?"

I couldn't help but laugh. "No, of course not. The rabbit didn't get burned to begin with. Because he was so generous, he was spared."

"Huh," was all he said. He was quiet again. Wow, he can really carry a conversation.

I looked back at the sky and to my disbelief, I recognized a constellation. "Hey, Cyril, look!" I pointed at the stars. "It's Orion! Remember it?"

"It's your favorite constellation," he said, which didn't really answer my question, but hey.

"Yeah!" Then, I pointed west. "And there are the Pleiades."

He sighed. "Why are you still obsessed with them?"

"Don't you remember the legend of Orion and the Pleiades?"

"Didn't he die for them or something?"

"No, he didn't. God, do you remember any of the legends we learned together?"

"I tend to forget fairytales."

I rolled my eyes. "Well, the story about Orion and the Pleiades is that Orion fell in love with the sisters and chased after them for years. Then, after all of them died, Zeus turned them into stars. Now, even after thousands and thousands of years, Orion is still chasing after them and has yet to catch them."

"Sad story."

"I guess if you look at it that way," I murmured. "But at least he's with them."

"They're not close to each other."

"But they're still part of the same sky!" I exclaimed. "That has to amount to something...you know, 'cause at least he's with them."

I expected a response, but got silence in return again. Joy. I lay there for a second and just stared at them. I stared at Orion, who was chasing the Pleiades. "He is never going to reach them," is what people have been saying. But really, could that really be true? He's been chasing them for so long that he's got to catch up to them eventually. They're gonna get tired of running away eventually. Maybe not next year—sure as hell not tonight—but one day. He'll catch up to them and it'll all be great...right?

And then, I realized something. I am Orion and Cyril is the Pleiades. I am the one who is frantically chasing, always chasing while Cyril is running, always running. I am never going to catch up to him. I was always going to be a nobody while he was always going to be this amazing violinist that everyone adores. And I am going to be left behind. Not in the sky, but still on Earth. And he was going to rise above me, rise all the way up and become one of the stars that he's always wanted to be. And honestly, it wasn't fair. I was always going to be second-class to him just like I am now. I'll always only be one of his five points and never my own thing. Then again, am I even one of his points? I've definitely put on my moon boots and shot up into space with him, but am I even that close to him? Do I land anywhere near him yet? I've always wanted to and I've always wanted him to, too.

In thought, I couldn't help but look at him. And feeling my eyes on him and not the stars, he looked back at me. And then, I asked the question: "Do you think of me as a friend?"