rough » taerin

xvi.

i will always come closer.

***

"Kim Taehyung, I think I love you."

Taehyung's heart rate increased, the usual silence almost letting Yerin hear the loud drums inside him. Taehyung tried to stop his triggered heart but in startle he's unable to, and couldn't at least ignore it.

"I-I know." He let out an unhearted chuckled. "You love me as an idol you're ever free to dream of."

Hearing that broke Yerin's. "No." She tried to compose herself, not letting her threatening tears make their exit.

"I love you. I don't think. I know. I love you outside your idol façade. I love you outside the music videos you shoot and behind the stages you perform.

"I'm not like this before, but ever since the Taehyung who's not an artist came forth made me pray to hold your hands whenever I miss you if I originally only wish for Bangtan to write new albums for a come back. I love you. The only thing that did not change is you do not have to reciprocate that. You have your life as I have mine. We are and will always be the parallel lines who do not intersect and do not meet.

"There. I said it." Yerin looked away and crossed her arms. She felt useless. She felt pathetic that she has said these to someone which probably has millions of fans feeling the same.

She did not regret it, however. It felt good to empty the bottle of feelings. But shame took the place quickly.

"I..." She heard a heavy sigh. "You don't think I love you, too?"

Likewise I do? Don't you get what I mean?

"Getting to know you made me want to protect you from anything that has the very light potential to hurt you. I felt comfortable with you even if you don't since I'm your ultimate and you basically feel intimidated whenever I have close contact. I want to see you dot with the audience by chance so I could perform enthusiastically more than ever. You motivate me. I was the one who thought you'll never like me back that way because you deserved much better and shaked that off because I badly wanted to hold you carefully. I love you, too, Yerin."

Several species fluttered inside Yerin's stomach. The vague relationship between them became way less vague, like adjusted eyeglasses. Although not very clear, their feelings are poured out and it is something.

"Geez." Yerin just felt the cold breeze right now which already witnessed their every word. "This... this is a first."

"First what?" Taehyung asked.

"This is the first time I've loved someone and got loved back." Yerin flashed a faint smile. "Was I still worth it?"

Taehyung stroked the strands of Yerin's hair. "Really worth it."

Pulling the latter closer, Yerin soon felt his warm lips on her forehead.

Me? Worth it? Yerin thought. Was the worth in his sentence the same as how worth it being in love is? Worth taking the risk? Yerin was this dubious, but she didn't show. How worth it am I?