The making of "Star Crossed" the movie. My notes from an Indian jail.

The making of "Star Crossed." My notes from jail.

I’m going to take my chances and publish my journal notes from jail. It’s a weird story involving famous people you probably have heard of. I don't yet have permission to tell this story. I don't know if I need it. Not sure I care. Let them come after me. I’ve got nothing they can get anyway. Besides, I'm still fighting to keep this project alive so maybe this will help. Here’s my first entry. PLEASE DO NOT FORWARD THIS TO PEOPLE MENTIONED BELOW:

Greetings from jail. My notebook is the only thing they let me keep. And a pencil. No pens allowed. They might let us out tomorrow or months from now. No one is telling us anything. That’s the thing about getting arrested in a place like India. You just never know. The thing is, I don’t really want to be let out. There are a lot of powerful people who want me dead.  Bono is one of them.

Seriously. The guy from the band U2. I’m safer in here.

Someone probably will kill me so I’m writing as much down now as I can. I don’t really think Bono would do it but he’d probably come close based on how pissed off he is.

I said ‘us’ and not ‘me.’ They won’t let ‘us’ out but Bono wants to kill ‘me.’ An important difference. My cell-mate won’t speak to me. He’s the other part of ‘us.’  I don’t think he wants me dead, but he blames me for all of this. His name is John Krasinski. You may recognize the name. He was the actor in The Office. The American show, not the British one.

 I keep telling him someday we’ll laugh at all of this. I just tried getting his attention but he’s still ignoring me. Fine.

He’s right. This is my fault. Being jailed in India. John’s definitely mad, but I think he’ll forgive me. After all, this almost worked. Almost.

I’ll explain. At least until my pencil breaks or maybe someone bails us out and Bono breaks me.

I sold John Krasinski on a movie idea a few months ago.

Long story, but he grew up near me and his father was my doctor when I was growing up. I got an idea for a movie and Dr. Krasinski was the only Hollywood contact I had. Lame, but true.

I had never met his son, John. And now he’s hugely famous and friendly with George Clooney. This was the guy I really wanted to get in front of with my idea. I needed Clooney. Without him, or someone at his level of fame, the entire idea wouldn’t work. And I needed a couple of people like him.

As long shots go, this was the ultimate.

I’m not rich nor am I famous so I had to talk my way into John Krasinski’s life. He thinks I scammed him, which is true at first, but John knew what he was getting into so I don’t think I’d call this a ‘scam.’ Maybe I ‘oversold’ my situation a few times. The lawyers are calling it a scam. Ever been sued by a rich guy? Ever been sued by dozens of them?

Look, I pitched Krasinski an idea and he signed on. I didn’t force this on him or anyone else. And I didn’t force him to get Clooney involved. Definitely not frigging Bono.  

 I guess I never thought it would work as well as it did. But it did work. Until it didn’t. Momentum is an amazing thing. Both when it goes the direction you want and the opposite. And John Kransinki is so….so likeable. It sucks seeing him here in jail. All mad. With diarrhea.

Here’s what happened.

As I said, I don’t know anyone even remotely famous. I don’t even know anyone popular. My closest connection was John.

As a social media ‘expert’ I did about 3 minutes of research. John Krasinki recently had a baby and they were visiting his parents for Christmas. Thank you, Google.