For What It's Worth

Chapter 1

A girl stood on the edge of a pier, her toes hanging off the last plank of wood. She wasn't looking down at the water, at her wavy reflection. She was staring across the lake, watching a blue heron bend it's twig legs back and forth. She wondered if the heron had a family, or if it wandered the earth alone. She wondered why it mattered and why she was still wondering things. After all, wasn't she done with everything?
Keeping her eyes on the bird, she lifted one bare foot off the edge, dangling it above the water below. Ever so slowly, she lowered her eyes from the heron to the murky water beneath her. Her reflection rippled and waved at her, a jagged smile ripping it's lips. It was taunting her, like it did whenever she was close to the end. All she had to do was take it's hand and jump. It grinned again, and this time she didn't hesitate.
She jumped, and no one heard the splash.
Alice grew up near this lake. Her family had moved here when she was seven and she remembered immediately falling in love with it's deep waters. She spent most of her childhood swimming and splashing and blowing bubbles in this lake. Her mom had hated it with a passion and was always warning her not stay out for too long. Alice's father, on the other hand, loved the lake possibly more than Alice did. He took her fishing on the good days and talked to it on the bad days.
Alice's dad had been diagnosed with schizophrenia when she was five. She didn't remember much about it, but she had known that there was something wrong about him. She remembered her mother screeching at him when he kept mumbling to himself and rambling on about things she couldn't see. Alice would run out to the lake whenever this happened, watching the house from outside.
This lake had been her shelter from all things dark and heavy. Even after her family moved away, Alice found herself returning here, to the edge of the water whenever things seemed to be crashing down on her. Lately things had seemed alright. In fact, things had been so great that she hadn't been back to the lake for a whole year. But all those great things broke apart and now... The lake would be her savior.
....
"Alice... Alice.. Alice, can you hear me?" A small voice pierced her head and she wondered a bit too optimistically if she had ended up in heaven. No, knowing her past, Alice would be in hell. Her eyelids fluttered involuntarily and she squeezed them closed as much as she could. She didn't want to wake up. She didn't want to be alive. Something touched her arm and before she could stop, her eyes flew open. A woman's round face bobbed into her vision, smiling pleasantly and patting her wrist. "There we are. How are you feeling, hon?" She kept smiling and blinked at her patient for an answer. Her uniform mint-colored shirt screamed nurse, and her face was way too close to Alice's. She shrank as far back into her pillow as she could, but didn't get too far. After all, it was a hospital bed. Their pillows are only fluffy when they know the patient is dying.
Apparently her name was Doris and she had three kids around Alice's age. "All grown up," she said, wiping away invisible tears. As she fiddled around with Alice's IV, she talked and talked and talked about everything. Everything that Alice didn't give a shit for. All she knew was that she had failed once again. And how sad was that? She couldn't even drown herself.
After what seemed an hour of one-sided conversation, a tall figure leaned into the room. Alice could hardly turn her head to examine the intruder so at first, Alice thought that maybe she had been in limbo all this time and a demon had finally come to claim her. Finally. But no, the person stopped mid-step, one foot in the room and one foot out. "She's awake," he said. It was more than a statement than a question. Alice had decided that the person was a he, and not a she because of his deep voice. She tried tilting her head towards the door, but nausea flooded her system. She groaned and squeezed her eyes shut. "Oh dear," Doris said, furrowing her brow. "Those headaches will be present for a while now."
"Headaches? What do you mean, headaches?" The man at the door walked further in, and Alice could now see his face. As the nurse explained, she studied him carefully. Who was he? Why did he care? The guy was in a leather jacket with studs and silver zippers. His hair was dark, curled down to the nape of his neck, and messy. Messy in an attractive way. Alice found herself unable to peel her eyes off of him, his blue eyes, his lip ring, his sharp and delicate jawline. He was undoubtedly attractive, in a dark and dangerous way. Maybe he was a doctor in disguise, she distantly dreamed.
Alice began drifting off, their conversation getting farther and farther away. Her mind had been so drawn to that man that she had almost forgotten about her failed attempt. This was why she hesitated the first time. She was still so curious about everything, and she didn't have the answers she wanted. That attempt was also obviously a failure as well. Alice started wondering that maybe she wasn't meant to die just yet. And then she laughed at herself in her dreamless sleep. She was starting to have hope again. And she knew how scenario played out. She'd cradle this hope, watch it grow, and then feel it being smashed to bits. There was no hope, she just needed to try again.
When Alice woke up, the room was much brighter. Doris had pulled the blinds all the way up and sharp beams of sunlight were streaming through the window. She was sure she hadn't stayed the night, and terribly feared that if she had, she would have to pay the extra fees. Alice only had the few dollars that was left in her purse, which was probably at the bottom of the lake. Damn it.
She glanced around, looking for that man that had been in before. He wasn't there anymore, and she started to think that maybe he was part of a dream. One of her more wistful dreams. But then Doris the overly cheerful nurse entered the room, carrying a brown paper bag in her arms. "The young man brought you some clothes," she said, setting the bag on the edge of Alice's bed. "These are nice." She lifted some black pieces of lingerie out of the bag and Alice stared at the clothing. Who gets underwear for someone they just met? She hadn't spoken a word to him. Nor did he her. It was definitely creepy.
Doris must've noticed her face because she went around to the other side of the bed and picked up a plastic baggie that contained the clothes she had been wearing before. "They're still a bit damp, dearie. He asked, and I told him you probably wouldn't be comfortable in them and he went out and came back with all those clothes. What a sweetheart. You're lucky to have him as a boyfriend. He's out at the cafeteria, getting you some food and I told him to try the tuna salad," and blah blah blah. Doris continued her chirping and went on to describe each piece of clothing to Alice as if she were blind. But Alice was stuck. Boyfriend? Unless she had lost her memory, he was not her boyfriend. She didn't know him. Panic swelled up in her throat, and so many thoughts flooded to her mind. What if he was some creepy predator who rescued girls from hospitals, only to force them to be his slaves as repayment? What if he was a serial killer, after helpless people in hospitals? What if he had a fetish for hospital beds? What if seeing her in nothing but a hospital smock turned him on? What if-
All of her crazy what-ifs came to a sudden, nauseous stop when he walked into her room again. Only, this time he carried a plate of food and came bearing a smile. Alice narrowed her eyes. She couldn't tell if he was faking it or not. The smile. Doris looked up as he entered. "Oh, hello, dear! Did you get the tuna salad like I told you to? It's wonderful! I like to eat my salad with a side of soup. They've got some splendid tomato cream soup downstairs. I see you're missing that. You should try some later!" Doris smiled brightly at him and folded the clothes back into the bag. "You're awake," he said cheerfully, blatantly ignoring the nurse aside from a candid smile. The man set the styrofoam plate on the table beside me, and sat in the chair. Alice's head was spinning so much, she couldn't say anything. He reached for her hand and clasped it with her own. Alice wanted to pull away, but her head was spinning so fast she wasn't sure exactly which hand to move. Doris, seeing as this was a tender moment, chuckled to herself and left the room, saying she'd be back to check on Alice in a few minutes.
"Sleep well, babes?" he asked, caressing Alice's hand with his thumb. A smirk was pulled over his lips and Alice didn't like it. She narrowed her eyes and managed to snatch her hand away from his. "Who are you?" she asked warily, trying not to let her tiredness show. He leaned back in the chair and stretched his hands behind his head. "I am your boyfriend," he said, eyes closed. She snorted.
"I don't have a boyfriend."
"Now you do."
"Why?"
"Why not?"
She sighed. "Why did you get me clothes? I have clothes."
"Umm.. Wet clothes, yeah." He leaned forward and frowned at her. "You know, you should be thanking me. I got you clothes, I got you food." He paused. "I even payed your hospital bills," he said, grinning.
"What? No, you didn't. You're lying. Why would you do that?"
"Because you don't have any money."
"How do you know that? Maybe I'm a millionaire and I have tons of money." Alice crossed her arms and stared back at him. She could slowly feel her resolve fading, along with her energy. She couldn't trust him, but there was no reason to be scared of him.
He laughed at her, obviously not believing that she could be a millionaire. She huffed in response. "Fine, maybe I don't have any money. What does it matter to you?"
He opened his mouth and looked away, as if thinking of a serious answer, but then cracked a grin at her and joked, "Would you believe me if I told you this is part of my community service?" Alice frowned, not sure what to believe, then leaned back against the pillows. "When are they releasing me?" As if to answer her question, Doris popped back into the room. "Hello, darlings. I'm back to take that pesky hook out of your arm and send you back into the ocean!" The older woman giggled as she grasped the inside of Alice's elbow and gently began peeling off the tape that held the needle in place. Alice made a face at the nurse's horrible metaphor and glanced at the man beside her. He met her eyes with his own look of disgusted wonderment and they almost shared a sly smirk. Almost. Alice looked away just as Doris slid the needle out of her arm. "Alrighty, there you go! Your lovely sweetheart checked you out already, so you're good to go, darling." The nurse turned to the man. "Just make sure to watch her. If she starts feeling any nausea or dizziness bring her back to the ER right away." She patted Alice on the shoulder then disappeared to wherever the happy nurses frolicked. The man in black stood and yawned, then walked over to the edge of the bed and picked up the bag of clothes. "You should get changed. It's boring in this building." Alice frowned at his brief command, which lacked his usual humor. Fine.
She pushed back the covers, and pressed her feet against the cool tile floor. Her head felt like it had been split open. She ignored the man's offers to help and instead stood frozen in place, waiting for most of the nausea to pass. She breathed in, took the bag from his hands, and carefully made her way to the bathroom.
Safely behind a locked door, Alice dropped the brown bag and searched the bathroom for a window, anything that meant possible escape. She considered flushing herself down the toilet. The man outside was a stranger, and even though he looked interesting enough, she wasn't interested. At least, that's what she continued to tell herself.
Alice sighed and gave up her vain search for escape. She leaned forward on the sink and stared back at her reflection in the mirror. The fluorescent lights cast a green shade over her skin, and the bags under her eyes looked so much more prominent. She groaned, and tried to smooth her hair out, but it was stiff and tangled and it reeked of lake water. Alice huffed as she turned away from her reflection and picked up the paper bag, emptying it's contents into the sink. She rummaged through the clothes and pulled out the black set of underwear Doris had been eyeing earlier. She slipped out of her hospital gown and proceeded to dress herself, albeit painstakingly. When at last she was fully clothed, black hoodie and all, she glanced back at the mirror. The clothes he had picked out for her all fit well enough. He must have looked at the tags of her old clothes. Everything was dark. The jeans were navy, the shirt was gray, the flip flops he must have gotten from Walmart were maroon. She realized that she didn't look much different than her usual self, without the sticky hair and half-dead posture. She retrieved the empty paper bag from the floor, clutching her head with one hand as she did so, and tossed it into the trash can. With that, she left the bathroom. As Alice entered the small room, she found him sitting on the bed, the plastic bag that held her damp clothes in his hands. He looked up as she closed the bathroom door. She realized she didn't know his name. She didn't know anything about this man.
As if reading her mind, he opened his mouth and said, "I'm Andy."
She pressed her lips together and dug her hands into the pockets of her new hoodie. "I'm Alice."
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AUTHOR's NOTE
alrighty, so I know this was ending horribly cheesy, but bear with me. thank you so much for reading the first chapter! please leave feedback!