young and infinite | a short story

too

27th February 2016 [6:03]

"Did you mean it?" he calls out. Murphy can feel his heart pounding in his chest, maybe it wasn't such a good idea to run all the way here. His mouth has a distinct taste of iron, and his scuffed up knees only prove the numerous slips and trips in messy puddles; if only it hadn't have rained, maybe he'd have gotten here faster.

Rose didn't answer, not that she would've, he doubts she even heard him, yet he repeats, "What you wrote on that last letter, did you mean it?"

Down below, the cars roar on, unaware of what is about to happen. The boy is standing in the middle of the empty road. No one uses this bridge anymore, they built a new one three miles on. No one looks up to see a girl on the wrong side of the railings, no one runs to her aid.

"For when you're ready," Murphy recites. Each letter had a similar title. For when you're lost. For when you need a shoulder to cry on. He went through every letter, in hopes of finding out what it all meant. He went through every letter, apart from the last, because by the time Murphy had read them, he knew they were just stalling time. Rose had a way of doing that, convincing him everything was going to be alright.

"Ready for what, Rose? You told me to let go, but let go of what?"

He knows – or hopes – that she is lying. It's a prank, right? She'll climb down from the railing, smiling and laughing at how gullible he is. Rose has talked about this before, about dying and flying and giving up, but she never talked about what would happen after that. She never talked about how the world would deal with the loss of an angel.

"Tell me something," Rose says. Her scratchy voice surprises him. He didn't think she'd talk, but yet again he didn't think he'd have to catch his breath on a broken down bridge in the middle of a storm."Tell me why you came, when I asked you not to."

"Because I never listen," he chuckles through his tears, "because I'm just a kid in love, because life isn't fair," with every reason he takes one step closer, convincing himself that this is what is supposed to happen. "Because I promised never to leave you, and I promised that we'd grow old together, like we always said we would."

Even though he is shuffling towards Rose, he doesn't feel to be getting any closer. Then he remembers what Rose said, that when her mind is running hay wire, his soothing voice calms it down.

"Hey Rose," he says," I know you feel as if this is the only option left, but it isn't. Why don't you climb down, we get you home, maybe put on a movie and drink hot chocolate. Would you like that? If we could get it right this time."

Nothing.

"Don't die, ok? Not now. Don't leave me," with every word his voice sounds more desperate. And he hates it, he hates how dependent he is. "I've done this before. I've lived without you and I hated it. I couldn't stand to go through that again."

The boy is close enough to notice Rose tighten her grip around the railing. She's not wearing any shoes, it occurs to him that even if she didn't jump, she might slip.

"Please don't jump. Stay alive a little while longer."

He can't think of anything else to say, and he doesn't think there is anything left to be said. Rose said her part, and he said his. As he reaches Rose, almost tripping on the curb, but catching himself before he falls, he stretches his hand out to her.

He can almost feel her. He can almost imagine a sun poking through the thick clouds.

Rose turns her head, looking directly into his eyes. He wonders what she is thinking. If she still sees galaxies in him, or if she is looking straight through. If she's dreaming of another life in another world. Or no life at all.

She says something like, me or move or maybe, but it gets drowned out in the storm. He calls her name, but the words never leave his mouth, as he takes in Rose for the first time. Her cheeks are tear stained, and in the heat of the moment, she looks strangely heavenly. Something inside him changes in that second, like a light switch being turned on, or a door being closed. Rose doesn't belong here. Rose deserves something more, Rose deserves to be happy, even if the outcome pains him. Seeing Rose this helpless will always be a worse.

Her tight grip on the railing loosens, as she swings her body around, facing him. With one hand holding herself steady she reaches out, and for a brief moment, their fingers touch, their fixed gaze never leaving. Rose smiles, a tiny broken smile that sets fireworks off in his heart; just like the first time.

And then it happens, their fingers lose touch, and Rose's smile fades, because her bare feet slide on the wet metal. The boy doesn't dare to breathe, as he stands there frozen, watching the scene unfold before him.

Who knows what would've happened if it hadn't have been raining.

A/N hey! I wrote this ages ago but it was too long and had too much in it (also too many gaps) so I kind of gave up on it..

This will be a short story (five chapters) which will be a bit of a challenge.

Enjoy xx