Conscience

".....Until death do us part..... you may now kiss your bride."

The celebrations erupted around me. I watched the beautiful bride in her long white dress walk down the aisle like she couldn't think of anywhere else to be. She was breathtaking, her lovely glowing skin, full lips, and her heart-shaped face. The wedding itself was just as breathtaking. The canopy was covered in white roses, and the sweet smell was so intoxicating. White logged benches stood in rows covered with even more flowers. The pathway was sprayed with pedals, that I had spread out. I was the Flower-girl. I could feel my hair in braids across my head, the few wisps that had fallin out blowing with the light wind, and the flowy dress I wore molding against my small legs. It was every girls dream in a wedding. Every girls dream to be that bride. To be her. Her smile was love-struck and blinding. I watched the happy faced crowd rejoice in excitement as she passed on. It was too unrealistic. Too good to be true.

And yet, I felt this perfect moment.

And suddenly, the whiteness and pureness of the event I had so much admired, was ripped away. The world stopped for a fraction of the time, as everyone witnessed the spreading of blood at the heart of the halo faced bride, her eyes turning wide and frightened. Beside her, her groom, yelled in anguish and watched as her life slowly dispersed. The next few events leading that moment, was all in bloodshed. "It all happened so fast," some people would say, but they're wrong, it was almost too slow. Everything fell apart in a matter of seconds and yet, it felt like hours, and there was nothing anyone could do about it. Making it so much worse. And at that moment, hell broke loose.

Screams erupted, and the chaos began, like the ending of a symphony. Dramatic. Final. Everything seemed to be in slow motion. Even ,I, was in slow motion. My small child body was still, I was in shock, and I didn't seem to know what to do. I wanted to cry, in fact, that would have been the most logical response for any age. Except I didnt. I had remembered that If I had ever gotten lost, I were to stay still and wait for help. And at that moment, I was lost in my own fear, I was lost in my own reality. No help was coming, nor ever will. And what I needed was a light at the end of the tunnel, which I could not see.

I felt arms grab my waist lines and rip me from the dark dep't of my mind. A dirty hand crossed my mouth, stopping my scream mid-way. "Bye Bye, little Adelina, sweet dreams."

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"Addie Ashworth! Wake up, this instant!" A heavy hand slammed into the empty desk beside me.

I opened my eyes to see my history teacher scowling at me. I groaned. I removed my cheek from the forming red spot on my arm, and stared straight into her eyes. I was pissed off that she had woken me up before I finished my ever lasting dream. This was the dream I had almost every night, and everyday there was always something added on. But not wanting to get into further trouble, I gave her one last glance and looked away. The bell rang at that moment.

"Now, now...class don't forget to......" I was already gone before her ignorant voice spoke further than necessary.

The rest of the school day past on with bliss, the occasional hello there and hi here. But I too was focused on my dream. I could've mistaken it for a memory. I sighed. I'm too tired to be thinking so much. School was always that time of day that seemed to drag on for hours. I couldn't wait for sleep. I stopped by my locker to grab a few things before walking home.

I lived with my 27 year-old Aunt. After my parents died when I was small, she took me in. She wasted her own childhood for the sake of mine. And I loved her for it.

I walked up the drive way path, and stopped just before the door. I stared at my house for a few seconds.

"I'm home!" I yelled once I was inside. I hung up my coat and shook out of my boots. I set down my bag on the coffee table inside the living room. Not before I moved a whole bunch of boxes in the process. Box's lined the walls and piled up on the floors, everywhere. What is she up too?

"Cristina! What are all these boxes for!" I asked into what seemed a silent house. Five minutes later, her short and small frame came jogging and tripping over another pile of brown cardboard.

"Damn. My foot! Oh, hey! Addie, just the person I'm looking for! So I have some good news.... Your awesome aunt got a job offer!" She announced and hugged me. I hugged her back, "Oh my god. I'm so excited for you, Chris! But why do you have all these boxes around?" I already knew the answer. But I was hoping I was wrong. Terribly wrong.

"Well....., theres also the small part that this job is not in the state. Its in Oregon. Aren't you excited?" She spread out her words very slowly. Looking at me for comfort in her decision. Damn. I didn't know how to respond, but for her sake. I thought about it, theres great forestation over there... nice beaches. And not so cold.

But starting a new life? A new school?

I took a deep breath and smiled, "That's.....terrific. When do we leave?"

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I know its not much. But its all I got so...... Like? I'm trying here. I really am.