Insensitive p.jm

¨Introduction¨

I look happy, don't I? I mean.. there's a big smile on my face. So I'm happy. Right? I know most people wouldn't be happy with my life. I know my mom wasn't. You know, since she killed herself. I didn't even shed a tear. Many people have called me insensitive or cold-hearted. But what happens when I meet a boy that makes me too compassionate. To the limit where I literally can't live without him. It's weird. Either I don't feel a thing or I feel too much.

My father is very much what you would call abusive. He always makes me go buy him alcohol and drugs. Once I walked through the most dangerous neighborhood in the middle of the night to get him drugs. What he doesn't know is that I always buy a little more for myself. Why should he care, I mean it's my money. If I deliver too late or it doesn't live up to his expectations he will crack a bottle and swing at me. The most fucked up thing is that he always has this, creepy, sinister smile on his face while he beats me up. It doesn't affect me much. Pain doesn't really bother me.

My mom committed suicide because she couldn't take my father anymore. He beat her daily and she wasn't allowed to leave the house. She ended up cutting her wrist and bled to death.

At school, I'm apart of the chimneys. At least that's what everyone calls us. You can probably guess why.

My image itself is pretty innocent. If you saw me on the streets you would think of me as a positive, happy, and cute girl. I often get told that I look accommodating and that I have a nice and bright smile. Which is also the reason that I have had many short-term friends. But as soon as they get to know me a little more they leave instantly.  It doesn't bother me. I'm not exactly looking for more friends. Some would even go as far as to call me ''psycho''...

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Hello ♥

Thank you for reading. I would love to hear what you think about the story so far. Feel free to comment if you have any ideas.