Weird Hamilton One-shots

The Room Where "It" Happens

Burr paced down the hallway. He stopped right at the large wooden door, with a sign written badly with marker: "Private". He could've sworn that he heard talking in that room. Um, no, not talking, a little more like...something else. He couldn't place his finger on it.

Given the weird extreme noises, he figured that a) there was a meeting on how to make animal noises, or b) Hamilton and Madison were trying Jefferson's "amazing" food that he brought back from France - the so called "Mac and Cheese". Burr didn't want to try it at all. He'd heard Madison complain a million times about it already, and he didn't need to hear about it anymore. 

Even though Burr didn't want to eat any Mac and Cheese Hamilton and Madison could've been tasting in that room, he still wanted to go into the room. They could be having a meeting, or much worse, they could be deciding that.

Burr clenhed his fists. If that wad being decided, then he needed to go in. But what if he went in, and they were only tasting the Mac and Cheese? Jefferson would definitely offer him some. And then that would be the end of him.

As Burr walked pass the door again, it was the sign that caught his eye. Again. Burr honestly couldn't stand that "Private" sign anymore. It annoyed him. To him, it was basically two middle fingers, plus an extra "BLEEP OFF, BURR (SIR)". And he definitely did not like that. He was getting more agitated by the second. More and more. The noises got louder, and this time turned into words. 

Burr didn't bother listening. He was too distracted by the red "Private", scrawled on the piece of paper. It mocked him, laughed at him, teased him to the extent that the wanted rip that paper apart. He didn't care anymore. He was going to go in. Show Hamilton and those Virginians that he would be in the room too. He sighed, the placed his shaking hand on the doorknob. 

Taking a deep breath, he wrenched the door open and screamed: "HAMILTON, MADISON, AND JEFFERSON YOU-" and stopped. 

Because in that room, it wasn't Hamilton with Jefferson. No Madison either. No, it was Eliza and Hamilton, completely naked, making out like it was the end of the world. And Burr was there just in time to see Hamilton detach himself from Eliza and start kissing her neck. "Oh. My. God. ALSHKS JSJASHKLSAJALKJDHALSKJDHAJKLSHAKLSJDHADLSKJHDJK. HELPPPPPP MY POORRRR INNOCENCE." 

 Lesson learned, Burr. Never go into a room that says "Private".