the beginning

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Hey I'm just your average emo Tom boy who sits in the back of the classroom, blocking everybody out by listening to music. I don't normally make friends, I'm what people call "anti-socail" when it comes to socializing. It doesn't bother me at all when I sit alone at lunch. I don't care what people think of me, I wasn't made to be perfect or miss popular of the school. I'm not perfect therefore I am real. I don't really know how to explain the things I been through the past 3 years... It's kinda like living in your own little world, you see things differently, you express yourself differently of how you are feeling, we also have our own experiences through out our life.

we sometimes react to certain events in our life differently. We may have negative and positive thoughts going through our head all the time. But can you imagine having your childhood friends turn against you when you need them the most? And everybody you look up to and admire slowly crumble apart and left you alone and didn't even hesitate to look back straight at you and say goodbye?well we all have our ups and downs but what if you were in a situation you couldn't get out of or even escape from?

The only choice you had is jump off the cliff and pray that you'll land straight into the water or you have to phase what's coming from up ahead and face the consequences.


I open my eyes and realize this might not be the only choice I have, so many thoughts was going through my head at that moment as I walk closer towards the edge. I began feeling regret of getting myself involved into this mess when I know that I'm stronger than this. Why am I always the one who gets left behind?why am I always the one saving people but nobody ever saves me?it doesn't make sense..... Why does my life have to turn into shit for getting involved with the wrong people who doesn't really care what happens to me.

For fuck sake I don't wanna die. As I start crying I feel a presence behind me and for a brief moment I realize I'm in the water, I can't move, I can't breathe, I can't scream for help because I'm sinking into the depths of the ocean and nobody will hear me nor will it be possible for me to even speak in water

As I close my eyes for a few seconds and reopen my eyes, I'm in my bedroom laying on my bed looking straight at the ceiling as my alarm goes off. Was that just dream?or was I just imagining the whole thing?I stood up from my bed thinking.

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⏰ Last updated: Oct 28, 2017 ⏰

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