how long does it take for everything to disappear

Taehyung wasn't even looking him in the eye, his own gaze somewhere on the ground. His patience was supreme, as if he hadn't said that for the twentieth time the past half hour, some guilt clouding his expression.

"Tae..." he started. Not knowing what to say more than just call out that name with a disgustingly begging tone. The pocket knife he already held in his hand, yet it was pointed down, and he didn't look at it because he knew what it would do.

No, what he would do.

"Taehyung, please..." He begged again, wishing that he'd just run out of tears to shed already. It's enough already. His chest hurt from gasping in sobs. "Just, just listen, w-we can figure something out-"

"There's nothing to figure out." Taehyung looked at him for no longer than a short moment before fixing his stare back at the ground.

"We'll just see how it goes, maybe it's not that bad-"

"Please stop." Taehyung glances up again. "Please. It's already hard enough for me."

"For you?" He said, fresh tears coming. "It's hard enough for me! H-how do you expect me to live another day kn-knowing that..." his voice lowered to barely audible, "that I did it." He breathed in. "Just one more day, give it another chance."

"It won't happen, and you know it too," Taehyung almost laughed, bringing up a hand of broken fingers to his face. He pressed it to his eye. "I-I can't do it myself." Taehyung didn't wipe the tear track away, or the blood on his chin. "Listen to me, while I'm still here."

Jungkook stayed silent, save for his choppy breaths that filled up the room.

"I know I can't expect it anymore, but... I really missed your smile. And your laugh. And... and when we were both happy. And I also know that I'm not gonna get any of that in this kinda situation. But." Taehyung's head snapped up, making direct eye contact, and broke into a fast walk into Jungkook's warm arms. Taehyung hugged him as hard as he could, the first loud cry only coming when he had buried his head. "I love you. Okay? I love you. I have no right to do this to you. I have no right to even be with someone as amazing, as wonderful, as perfect as you." They tightened their embrace, pocket knife skidding as it left his hand and hit the floor. "I never once took you for granted." Taehyung stopped to control his next sob.

His heart squeezed uncomfortably. "I can't kill you," Jungkook managed to say in between his own crying.

"I got bit, Jungkook," Taehyung said into the shirt. "Nothing is gonna change that."

"I know."

"Nothing."

"I know!"

He missed Taehyung's real smile too, and his laugh, and his happiness and cheerfulness and every single aspect of his personality. He missed Taehyung. The person he was holding barely had much of that anymore. He'd long since been waiting. How pathetic that Jungkook knew the time would come but neither of them are truly ready for it.

They pulled slightly farther away from each other to look in the eye. Taehyung did his usual smile, the fake once in which the corners on his lips were barely tugging.

"I'm tired, okay? Let's get it over with."

Jungkook nodded, picking up what he previously dropped. They made eye contact for another swift moment, before he lifted the blade nose-level and readied to plunge it into his only reason to living. Taehyung just smiled at him.

"I'm so proud of you."

And he finished the job.

He kneeled down next to the body.

He wondered how long he had to hold his breath for everything to disappear.