A New Life

My Love Letter

Hi, this is me.
I don't know if you probably still remember me or not.
I hope you still do but if not, that's okay.

You know what? I feel like the universe is mocking and laughing at my face.
It's like every single thing i commented about you is laughing in front of me.
Which is, it makes me questioning the world right now.

Do you remember the first day i saw your face? You made a perfect first impression.
Your handsome face, your sharp eyes, your small lips, your pointed nose and your hard voice. It made me can't blink my eyes. Even just a quick blink.

And at the second time we met, I hate you immidiately. I hate you until i can't remember when.
But then, the universe made me looking at your good side.
It made me consider my hatred for you.
It made me looking at you differently.

It was the first day of school, I'm buying food and you sat right in front of the food counter.
My eyes strolling around the canteen searching for my friends but then our eyes met for like two seconds, but then I looked away.

I'm too scared of you.

And in other occasion, the universe is still working for me to look at your good side.
Whenever I pray Duha, suddenly you stand in the same saff as me and makes me see your face when I end my prayer (at that time the saff for ladies are on the right and gents are on the left) and it goes on and on for many times.

I remembered when I walked to the canteen with my friend after my dzuhur pray, I walked right behind your group of cool guy squad.
I walked with my friend while remembering the formula of perfect tenses. And when I looked back, it was you walking behind me. I know its silly if I think you really want to walk behind me. But, your cool guy squad is in front of me. Why didn't you just walked with them instead of walking alone behind me? It wasn't a long gap between you and your squad.

I tried to forget every encounter of us. Because I still afraid of you, afriad of this feeling, afraid of my feelings for you.

And then, I think, this world really hates me. It was our school's birthday, that day was really hot, me and my friends were sat in the terrace of our school's mosque. I saw a hand fand laying on the ground. I walk with my knees and hands (crawl) and put my hand on the fan, but theb i realized i was blocking someone's foot. And when I looked up, I saw your face looking down to me with question in your face. That was so embarassing me.

WHY IN EARTH THAT GUY HAD TO BE YOU?

WHY?

Oh my god, after that embarassing encounter with you. I hate you even more.

But why in every silly things i did, it had to be you who's watching me?

I'm glad that now we never face each other again although there's many more embarassing story of me and you. I'm glad that now we never met again and I hope we never meet in the future.

But, all I want to say is; thank you, for making this highschool memories more colorful eventhough I don't know what kind of feelings is this in my head. Maybe because my hatred feelings for you? Or maybe other feelings i keep in denial?

I don't know.