Incoming: A Second Chance

April: Escape

So not sure who’s idea was it to get a drink, but this is definitely not what I had in mind.  Kathie decided to leave soon after in search of Brent, so I found myself making my way back to the dorm alone.  I drove myself home, which at the time seemed like a good idea, since Ethan was also M.I.A. Come to think of it, I didn’t see Derek at all after our dance either.

As I make my way up the path leading to my dorm, I’m feeling totally out of my element.  When I left the party I felt fine, but now it seems the drinks from tonight are definitely catching up with me.  Hearing the sounds of footsteps, I automatically relax knowing I’m not the only person out here at this ungodly hour.  I glance back, but my heart begins to pound harder when I see no one.  Was someone there?

I continue looking around and after a minute of seeing nothing, I decide I’m just being paranoid, especially since I’m a little past tipsy.  This alcohol is certainly doing a number on me. 

The path now seemed too quiet, where was everyone? I started to pick up the pace along the path.  Every now and then I would hear a sound or two, but blew it off thinking of squirrels or falling acorns.

When I finally reached the dorm, I let out a breath I didn’t realize I had been holding.  I push through the dorm doors, trying not to call attention to my drunken self, flashing security my school ID. Before closing the door behind me, I take one last look outside to see if I see anyone there. I want to be hopeful, and think maybe it is Ethan, finally coming to check on me, but once again I saw nothing. 

I close the door and head for the stairs as a million and one thoughts are running through my head. Where did he disappear off to anyway? I’m so beyond pissed right now, how could he just leave me there? He didn’t even say where he was going, and when I tried calling him, it went straight to voicemail, indicating his phone was off.  I remember leaving some voice messages earlier tonight, but for the life of me can’t remember what I said. “Jerk,” I whispered to no one.

Struggling to make it up the stairs, I kept glancing back, expecting Ethan to be there making sure I got home okay.  Why would he just leave? Then it hit me, what if he was upset about me dancing with Derek, what if he overheard us somehow?  I quickly took out my cell phone again, and yes, I drunk dialed my boyfriend…again.  Just like before the call went straight to voicemail.

“Ethan, it’s me. Please, call me back. I don’t know what’s going on, but I need you to call me back. Don’t be mad about Derek, it’s over. I want you.  I choose you.”

As I hang up, I’m relieved that I got through that message without sounding like slurring idiot, and then I replay my message in my head.  Why did I say it was over, like I was cheating on him or something.  I began to panic, I don’t want Ethan to get the wrong idea, and so I quickly redial his number again.

“Ethan, it’s me. Disregard my previous message! It…it was said wrong. Not the part that I want you, because I do, but…but the part of being over, with Derek that is. There was nothing going on. Ugh, just call me back.”

I hang up, ready to throw my phone at the wall.  This is why phones should have a breathalyzer attached.

After fumbling for my keys and finally finding the right one, I make my way into my room, and throw myself on the bed face up. The room was starting to spin, and every time I closed my eyes it spun faster.  How the hell did I get this drunk?

“Never again!” I said to the empty room. Knowing all to well, this was not the first time I made that promise to myself, and it most likely won’t be the last.

The room was still spinning as I tried to focus on a spot, any spot, and pray the spinning would stop. I notice a blinking light, and chose that as my focal point.  After a few seconds of staring at the damn red blinking light on my desk, I realize it belonged to my room phone, signaling I had a voice message.