4 the Love

It all happened so fast, the days that preceded this one. A few days ago I'd never have thought this reunion would be so premature.

As I lie here on the floor, my mind is playing it all back for me as though I need a recap; as though I weren't there for it all. It's kind of annoying to be given information that you already have access to. But that is the order of things I've always heard. Now I get to experience it for myself.

My cerebrum kicks in and a video plays in my mind. A few days ago, I'd been at school getting hassled by my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend. She'd always hated me and blamed me for their breakup. I just let her hate me. There was nothing that could be done. It was almost inevitable that Jason and I end up together. He was my brother's best friend and home away from home. Troy would crash over his house when he couldn't stand being at home which was often.

He was my friend by default and what started out as a forced friendship turned into a mutual relationship. It also turned into a problem for my father who loathed the idea of me dating anyone. I found that out the hard way one day when he put his fist through my face and told me to stop seeing Jason; that Jason would just use me and throw me away. He was wrong. Jason loved me. The very person who tried to stop me from getting hurtwas the one hurting me.

After school that day, Troy drove me a few blocks from his house so we could fool around. We never got to do much of that between going to school and curfew. It was a risk that I felt was worth it. But my Dad, I have to give it to him. He was in tuned to my every move. Not long after Troy and I had been messing around he showed up and made a scene that ended with us going home and me getting the stuffing beat out of me.

I saw my brother, Jeremy, coming before it got too bad. I love my little brother. I mean, I love Troy, too, but Jeremy was...different. He had these beautiful eyes of ice. I'd never met anyone with eyes like his. Let alone a kind-hearted person. He was there for me as if he were the older one. He stayed with me when our father attacked me. He took as much care of me as a ten year-old could.

It's unfortunate that he got stuck in such a messed up family. He didn't deserve this. He was so young and so innocent. His soul managed to stay untainted by the daily assault he watched me endure. It's amazing. He's amazing.

My best friend, Trinity, would always come over. That was another person who was in tuned to me. She could feel when something had happened and come running. She hated my father but what could she do? All she could do was be with me and calm me. She'd stay late into the night making sure he wouldn't come back for me. She'd let me get to sleep before she slipped out.

Troy and I didn't talk much. Our Mom died when I was twelve courtesy of my father. We were never the same after her death but Troy just seemed to shut down. He stopped looking at me, talking to me. He turned a blind eye to the goings on in our house, escaping to Jason's and confiding in Trinity, his girlfriend.

The next morning he'd said something about bestowing his temporary protection upon me due to the beating I'd taken last night. He'd protect me until all my visible bruises had softened. It tore me up to hear him say that.

I snapped, telling him that I was his baby sister and he should protect me without an invitation from my black eye, split lip and other miscellaneous scarring. I didn't get him. I mean, I understood that I looked identical to our Mom but...shouldn't that be an even greater reason to want to preserve my life?

Troy just walked away from me. There was nothing I could say now that he'd withdrawn back into his own mind again. He had walls that he wanted no one to scale. It was impenetrable without his willingly opening up to you.

Seeing my face, a nosy teacher pried until she realized I wasn't giving up the goods. She sent me to the nurse who sent me home. Troy told Jason and Jason cut me off and took me to his house.