English Class

9/13/14

9/13/14

It is not a school day but I feel like I should write. Even if it isn't very much. We hung out as a group today. Andy, Ron, Lacey, Adam, Bryant, Zoe, Isabel, Charles, Lily, Erik, and I. I think Adam caught me staring at her. I feel like this journal is going to be full of sappy, love-stricken me. I swear. I would do anything for her. I noticed something about her that makes me really sad. I saw on her wrists thin, red lines, the same lines that I see every time I take my shirt off. Why would she hurt herself? she is perfect. Maybe its the same reason that has tears on her cheeks. The same reason that she does not sleep. What could possibly cause all this? I think Bryant knows. Every time something comes up that she doesn't like they look at each other like they know stuff that the rest of us do not. I wish that was me. I wish I had a connection like that with her. It's time for dinner. More about my nonexistent love life later.

9/13/14

I had another nightmare last night. Beth this time. I didn't have the chance to talk to Bryant. I feel bad talking to him about this one. It is my fault they cannot talk. I think Theo saw my fresh cuts today. I hope he did not. I know I told Helen I had stopped, I lied. We were hanging out, our group from school. I was careless, I left my arm turned for a split second too long. I saw him frown. I am sure he saw. In a way I wish he did know. I wish he would kiss my scars. Hold me close. Make me forget. But he will not, and I never can. Dad has not been home at all, not sure if that is a good thing or a bad one. At least I do not have to deal with him. At least I have Samson to comfort me. He sleeps beside me, his big head nuzzled against my arm. I am sure that petting animals has to have been proven to make people happier. Dogs definitely can tell when someone is upset. I love Samson. His fur is soft and soothing. Helen is at dance. I have to cook dinner for Leo and Charlie.

Andy