Tropang Burabog - Ang Panimula

Manila, Philippines, 2015. It was Saturday, past nine o'clock in the evening. Makoy and Gerik, best of cousins, were on their way to Makoy's house at Quezon City after dinning out at a mall. Their drive home was uneventful.Traffic was slowly moving, and Makoy, who drives like a maniac on the loose, hate being stuck in traffic.

MAKOY: putek na traffic to o! Walang patawad. Alas-nuwebe na ng gabi e!

Gerik started to feel uneasy on his seat.

GERIK: Insan, bilisan mo, kaylangan makarating agad tayo sa inyo.

MAKOY: e pano ko nga bibilisan e sobra ang traffic?

GERIK: Di ba sabado ngayon? Bakit matrapik?

MAKOY: Baka may nagbanggaan kaya matrapik!

GERIK: Tangna! Insan buti pa lumabas na tayo ng highway, hanap ka na lang ng ibang daan.

MAKOY: Buti pa nga!

Makoy turned right onto the next intersection to get off the highway while Gerik's face turned into color green...

GERIK: Tol bilisan mo!

MAKOY: Ano bang nangyayari sayo diyan at madaling-madali kang makarating sa bahay?

Cold sweat slowly poured down Gerik's forehead.

GERIK: Kumukulo tiyan ko, nasira ata dun sa kinain natin! Kaya bilisan mo na at natatae na ko!

MAKOY: PUTEK! Wag kang uutot dito sa loob ng sasakya....

Before Makoy could finish what he's saying, Gerik farted. Releasing an unbearable, stinking, fouled smelled gas.

MAKOY: TANG-INAAA!!! Ang bahoooo! Nakakasuka!

GERIK: Di ko na kayang pigilin to pre, lalabas na e! Itabi mo muna.

Makoy pulled over, and Gerik get out as fast as he can and dashed into a dark and deserted alley, at least that's what he thought, then looked for a good spot to shit his heart out.

GERIK: oooohhhh sarraaappp!!! Question, ano ang pinakamasarap na gawin dito sa ibabaw ng lupa bukod sa sex? Ang tumae!!! oooohhh yyeeess!!

Gerik was very preoccupied on what he's doing that he didn't noticed that he was not alone in that alley. Not far from where he squatted, a man was being beaten to death by four thugs. Only after finally relieving himself that Gerik noticed what's going on around him. And when he saw what's happening, he immediately headed back to his cousin Makoy...

GERIK: Insan!! Merong mamang ginugulpi dun! TULUNGAN NATIN!!

MAKOY: o, o! Wag mo kong hawakan, di ka pa naghuhugas ng kamay e!

GERIK: Tang-ina nito! Tara na at baka wala na tayong abutan!!

MAKOY: Putek! eh kayang-kaya mo naman yun bakit ka pa bumalik dito?

GERIK: Alam ko namang gustong-gusto mo na rin uling makasapak ng tao e. Matagal-tagal na rin tayong walang exercise e di ba? Kaya tara nat baka maka-alis pa yung mga kupaloids!

MAKOY: Sabagay, tama ka dyan, tara!

So the two quickly rushed back to help the man being beaten to death. When they got there, Gerik shouted at them...

GERIK: HOY MGA KUPAL!! KAMI HARAPIN NYO AT WAG YANG TAONG WALANG LABAN!

The thugs were surprised and taken back with Makoy and Gerik's sudden appearance. Then one thug shouted back at them.