it was friday night when we were supposed to have a dinner date at seokjin's restaurant. i happen to come first because i wanted to help jin prepare for our food. it was 7:30 pm when you're still not there, i decided to call you but you weren't answering neither of our calls. your friends tried to contact you but it was unavailable.
7:45 pm when i received a call from the hospital, you got into an accident. a car accident. seokjin drove me to hospital, it wasnt less than 5 minutes when we got there, we were so worried we didn't even stopped for the stop light.
"where is min yoongi?" i hurriedly asked the nurse at the emergency room.
"he's in the ICU." right after the nurse stated where he was i ran to the ICU.
couple of nurses stopped me from going inside the ICU. i didn't listen to them, i dont care, i wanted to see you. i want to hold your hands and be there for you. i was crying really hard that my breathing became uneven. i couldn't breathe properly, the nurses comforted me and telling me to stop crying so i could breathe properly.
yoongi was rushed to the surgery room, i followed them and waited outside. the boys, his friends, arrived and comforted me outside the room. it was 9:05 pm when one of the nurses came to us, "he lost a lot amount of blood, we need to have some blood for him. is there anyone who's willing to-" i didnt let her finish and i immediately raised my hand. "i will."
while the nurse was taking some blood from me i couldn't help but cry, i wasn't crying because it hurts but i was crying because im worried about yoongi. the blood getting finished and we rushed to surgery room, they told me to sit down for awhile since i got blood extracted from my body.
10:00 pm
we were all lifeless but still hopeful that yoongi's operation would go well. the doctors and nurses came out of the room. i noticed that they were a bit emotionless and their heads were down. i immediately stood up and went to the doctor. "is he alright? where is he? i need to see him!" i said.
"time of death: 9:53 pm 10.31.16. im sorry we did everything we could, he just couldn't make it. he lost a lot of blood and i, i am really sorry." the doctor stated.
tears immediately came from my eyes as i fell to the ground. "no, no! no! dont say that! he's not dead! he's alive!" i shouted. seokjin and namjoon tried to stand me up but i cant. im too broken. im to hurt.
all the memories flashed back to my head, all the times he saved me from different things. the times i almost got hit by a fucking car, from when there was a really heavy storm and he went to me to give me an umbrella and from almost getting myself killed by jumping of the rooftop. all of those memories suddenly came to me. i felt a really deep stab on my heart.
"yah, always remember that i will be here to protect you. to save you when you're in trouble, okay? i love you."
"life may not be easy but life is worth living, chaerin! why do you want to die so badly!? many people wants to bring their love ones to life and you're here wanting to die?! fuck!"
"you're an amazing person, chaerin. please dont be like this. many people loves you, and i am one of them."
"trust me, i will never leave you. ever."
i remembered everything and every single moment im with him. i was crying really hard that i couldn't breathe properly and see. with that, i lost my consciousness.
OCTOBER 31, 2017 [ 1 year later ]
"hey, yoongs. i miss you so much. yah i cut my hair short, do you like it? i was thinking i should have a new look hahaha do you remember the time when you saved me from getting hit by a red car? and you hugged my really tight after that, i wish i could still hug you that tight. i love you so much baby that it hurts now. i can't move on, you're still my one and only. i tried dating other guys but i always end up ditching them. they're not you, yoongi. they're not the man who always makes me smile. makes me laugh, makes my cheeks turn really red. and they cant make my heart flutter the way you can. i wish you're still here at my side." i said while sitting at the clean grass facing your tomb.
your tomb gotten dirty so i brought out some wipes and cleaned it. "babe, i want you back. but that's impossible. maybe i could follow you but i doubt that you would just scold at me. you told me to live life because it's worth it and fun but it seems hard because you're not here anymore."
a tear fell from my eyes, "im sorry.... im sorry if i couldn't save you. the time we finished getting my blood you were already gone. you already left me. i should've done that earlier, so maybe you're with me right now sleeping or something... yah, you promised me you'd stay forever. you promised me you'll never leave me and you'll protect me forever. why are like this? you keep on hurting me. min yoongi, please. can we turn back time? i miss you, so bad."
it begun to be windy and i was just wearing thin clothes so i decided to go, "yoongi, my min yoongi, thank you for everything. thank you for saving me multiple times. thank you for telling me to live, for loving me and for protecting me. i love you so much, my kumamon."
"im sorry, im sorry that i couldn't save you at least once. im sorry for not being able to return everything to you. you kept on saving me to the point when it's my turn to save you i couldnt." i whispered to myself while trying to hold my tears.
