Leo's POV
Here we are, in our favourite coffee shop. He's smiling at me, I smile back it was not sincere, he don't notice it, right? He's too naive.
"Should we go watch a movie?" N asked me with that smile that make a unique crest on his eyes. I found it adorable before. But now? Nevermind.
"What would you want to watch?" I asked him.
He pouted and did puppy eyes at me.
I used to love those gesture of yours.
"You decide." He replied and smiled again.
"How about that movie of your actor friend?" I said, then I sipped some coffee.
"Oh, that's right. I almost forgot that he told me to watch it ㅋㅋㅋ" he said and he laughed. That laugh I used to love to hear everytime.
Remember those days that I try hard just to make you laugh? I don't do those anymore, right? It's not that I don't want you to laugh again, but I'm not interested anymore.
I ruffled his hair. He's gullible but in a good way. I smiled again, a sincere one this time.
He started telling me stories. I don't really pay attention at what he's saying, I just nod and say 'yea' occasionally.
"Are you done with your drink?" I asked. He was taken aback because I cutted him off of his stories that I don't usually do. But he smiled again and said yes.
Why are you like this? Stop making it hard for me to let go of you. Because I'm done, I just don't want to hurt you more.
I took his hand and he blushed. That used to be cute in my eyes, but I don't feel anything now.
"Let's go." I said and dragged him out of the shop. Not the aggressive one. I dragged him gently but with force, making sure he won't be hurt.
I'm sorry if I'm going to hurt you sooner or later.
While walking to the near cinema, I let go of his hand and made him walk infront of me, while I walk here in the back, thinking of what I should do.
I don't want to hurt him now, but I also don't want to hurt him soon. But don't people say that it's better to hurt him now than later?
Maybe I'll tell him later today, before the day ends. I can't keep lying to him and myself.
I'm sorry Hakyeon. I don't love you anymore. But believe me when I say that I really did love you more than myself. I just fell out of love.
★
The movie was finished but I didn't pay much attention to it because I was planning on how I'll tell Hakyeon.
He looks so happy everytime we are together. But I can't handle that what's making him smile is a lie. I want him to smile because of something real, something genuine.
"Hakyeon. Let's watch the sunset by the cliff" I suggested. His face turned pale.
Oh yeah, you hate heights. I've forgotten.
I was about to take back what I said when he smiled.
"Yea, sure" he replied and dragged me.
His hands are trembling, so I held them tightly.
You make me not want to let you go and just stay like this, but I know I can't because I'm just not the same anymore.
The trip to the mountain was quick. The wind was cold. He moved close to me but I moved a but further. He pretends not to notice and just smiled when I gave him a gaze.
