Hundreds of miles away,
But I still wanted to believe.
Hurt too many times,
But I still wanted to believe.
Only capable of looking through a screen,
But not touching.
No matter the aching pain that took over within me,
Or the sadness that lead to my deep depression,
Or the continuous words that fell from her lips
That had me fall to my knees.
I knew it was time to go because this just wasn't meant to be,
But I looked into her eyes
And I still wanted to believe.
Round who knows
And I keep saying it's time to move on,
But she said she loved me
And I didn't bother to try and go.
My best friend looks me in the eyes
And scolds me,
But my mind goes elsewhere
And can only seem to focus on how she said needed me;
The way her voice sounded,
So soft and sweet,
Filled with meaning.
When I had snapped back to reality,
My best friend could only shake her head at me.
I was afraid not only of losing her,
But being incapable of finding someone new
And that's why I ran back to her.
When I finally thought the game was over,
She appeared again
And I fell right back in
Because I wanted to believe.
But the last time was it for me.
She begged for me again
But all I really wanted was closure
And she said that hurt,
So I reminded her of how many times
She hurt me.
She stayed silent.
I told her I can't do this anymore
And I wanted to believe that I finally meant those words.
———
This one is like- the first ever poem I ever performed at a slam poetry event. I can assure you, it only gets better from here.
| A.
