I'm still here

Chapter 1: Why?

I woke up and felt a shiver run through my whole body. The first thing I did was to check the time, of course I overslept an hour, as usual. After I finally got out of my bed, I walked into the bathroom. I really had to take a shower, I turned on the water and waited for it to get warm.
I could be here all day, and don't regret anything. But unfortunately I had to take a quick shower and then get out of there.
When I got out of the shower, I dried my hair and went to my closet to pick out some clothes.
I didn't know what to wear, even if I had plenty of clothes.
"What would Taehyung like?" I said to myself, like I would get an answer.
I picked a black skirt and a warm sweater. I tried it on and looked in the mirror.
"Yeah, he would like this."
Just as I sat down on my bed, my mom called on me.
"Y/N, Taehyung is here, go get the door!" She shouted.
"Okay, I'm on my way!"
I walked out of my bedroom into the livingroom, where mom laid on the couch.
"Oh, nice clothes sweetie. Now go get the door, don't make him wait for too long." Mom said.
I didn't bother to answer as I went for the door.

There he was, as beautiful and kind as always.
"Hi Y/N, how are you?" He said with a smile.
"I'm just fine." I said. Tae gave me a warm hug, went inside and closed the door. He took of his jacket and shoes.
We were on our way to my room when he saw my mom, laying on the couch. He smiled and greeted her.
He really was the perfect boyfriend. How can he be so kind to me, and be really close to my whole family too. My parents loved him and thought he was the perfect person for me. They would never let me leave him. Tae was a friend to my brother too, since they were really close in age. When my brother was at home, they would sometimes play video games.
And after every dinner, Tae would help my mom do the dishes.

We went inside my room and both of us sat on the bed. We talked for a while until the silence filled the room.
"Y/N, I need to talk to you..." He said with a peaceful, but still sad voice.
"Of course, how are you?" I answered. I tried hard to sound calm, but actually I was really worried about him.
"I'm fine..or not really. Well, I'm sorry it had to end up like this but-" He could continue, as his voice was too weak.
The fear was spreading through my whole body. I knew what he was going to say, but I didn't want to hear it.
"I don't think that we can continue like this..." I saw a tear rolling down his cheek as he said it. I couldn't belive what he just said. His words continued repeating in my head, there was no end to it. After four whole years he thinks he can just finish everything, without even giving a sign about how he feels. The meaning of our relationship is that we should be able to trust each other, and that he can tell me his feelings.

"Why are you so quite? Please say something." He says quiet, so that he won't hurt me more than he already has.
"I-I just don't know how you can do this, right now. You haven't even given a sign about how you feel before. And now? Are you just going to leave me?" I said coldly, without even giving him a glance.
"Y/N, you don't understand-"
"I don't understand? Of course I don't understand why you are just leaving me, without a reason!" I don't know where all of my anger came from, I knew I was too harsh on him but I didn't know what else to do.
His eyes where filled with tears and I felt really guilty. The tears streamed down my cheeks, and the horrible feeling was like getting my heart ripped apart in two pieces.

He came closer to me and wiped away my tears with his thumb.
"I couldn't say anything to you, because I was told the reason today..." He stared me right in the eyes as he said it, and by that I got reminded that I would miss him so much. He took a deep breath before he continued talking.
"You know that my brother lives in Japan, right?" He asked me. I nooded as he started to talk again.
"I got to know it today, but my brother is really sick and I haven't met him in a long time. So I want to visit him, and live there for a while." He said and then looked away from me.
"But Tae...if you are just going to live there for a while, then why are you breaking up with me?"
"Because, I maybe will stay there for a long time. Right now I want to be by my brothers side, and I don't want to hurt you by that." When he said that, I didn't know what to do, or what to say. He was really going to break up with me.
"Y/N I'm really sorry, but I'm leaving Korea tomorrow..." All you could do was to hug him tight.
"I should go now" Tae said with tears in his eyes. I didn't want to let him go, but I had no choice.