I was terrified and felt hopeless for I might not return to the world I chose to leave behind. By all means, I was showered with guilt and selfishness for I affected those whom I loved and cared for most with sadness and concern. I was ready to leave that valley, that horrible yet beautiful valley but know not of a way. I buried myself too deep into the core, I truly wished I could escape but yet some parts of me just not want to leave. I struggle everyday fighting my will and actions and thus prolonging the duration of my stay.
The walls of the cage will not shatter no matter how hard I tried while only getting hurt and wounded of blisters I did to thyself. On the hours that pass by, I truly thought that everything would better if I was dead. Leave the hurt behind and rise above all the madness while also passing it to others yet more closer to my heart fear and grief of my passing. I accepted defeat after a while and stay there while the darkness drives me insane.
Then one day an array of light stroke down from the dark and horrid skies. The warmth and comfort it gave me was surpassing everything in that land and voices of the heaven showed me to a direction I felt I could follow. Yet I was much reluctant to do so for my heart was of wounds and cold as the arctic ice, filled with distrust, sadness and anxiety. Despite that ,I followed. It lead me to talk to a friend much like whom I used to be.
It was a great honor for anyone to meet him. So mature and open-hearted as well as good natured at helping others with their problem even though still facing problems of his own. Never intends to offend yet honest with opinions of his own, he opened a small window for me that could lead me back to reality. Due to my strange and solitary nature, I could not bare to open up my cold and frozen heart to speak of what passes my zone of security.
Strangely and subtlety, I felt safe in his presence and it slowly thawed my cold unbeating heart. It was not a delightful process to endure at all, the pain has no equal and I'm not even sure that the result was worth it. Sometimes I will distance myself because of fear of losing a friend like him and also to give him space for himself. Advice that was given was heard and somewhat executed and I felt that I could slowly move back into the light that I feared.
Slowly but surely, I could almost feel the sun on my face as I slowly walk away from the darkness of the valley. Yet, glancing back at the gates as I hope to never return.
