The John Cena Trilogy

Part 3: John Cena V Chuck Norris - The Defining Chapter

Recap: After several epic battles that destroyed the entire known universe, John Cena was transported to a new body in another dimension, where Chuck Norris lies in wait. What will become of our two characters?

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I felt the ground in front of me begin to shake. With the force of a thousand bombs exploding, John Cena landed on the field. I grabbed a tree to avoid being swept away. My name is Captain America. Standing around me is the rest of the Marvel characters, and, of course, Chuck Norris. We're the last defense against John Cena. Unfortunately, the fog machines and flashing lights made it impossible to spot the enemy. "AND HIS NAME IS JOHN CENA!" He rises out of the smoke, towering 100 feet into the air. I get a glimpse of his abs, which could withstand the power of a nuclear weapon. His glowing eyes are made of pure radiation, which brings a whole new meaning to the phrase "if looks could kill." His hands are massive, at least several thousand times larger than Donald Trump's. His skin is stronger than a suit of armor. John Cena opens his mouth, emitting a guttural roar. A stench like a fire of rotting corpses wafts into my nose, making me gag. Sweat drips off his body. Luckily, Chuck Norris appears and kicks John Cena in the face. We run towards the fallen giant to stop him from getting up again. I use my shield to cut into his skin. I'm careful not to touch his blood, as it is poisonous. John Cena manages to sit up, and starts to stand. Chuck Norris has turned into a giant and stomps on John Cena's head. John Cena swings his hand and almost knocks Chuck Norris over. In this time, he stands up to face Chuck Norris. They run at each other at full speed. Colliding, they are lifted into space. The collision lifts the field we are standing on into space as well. John Cena has pushed Chuck Norris towards the sun. He laughs and says "I'm a demon! I can do anything I want! I'm immortal!" He's about to push Chuck Norris into the sun, when Chuck Norris says "I believe you forgot one thing: I'm Chuck Norris." With that, Chuck Norris body slams John Cena into the sun. His body explodes, and the demon inside is obliterated by the heat. Chuck Norris lands back by us, and everyone cheers. I smile. The battle has been won at last.